Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Moving NOT Movies Episode 8 - The last duel

In our final not movies episode before we get back to normal shenanigans with Jackie, we discuss Matrix Resurrections, The Man in the High Castle, Philip K Dick, NBA and some followups to our top 10 list from last episode.

Moving not Movies Episode 7 - Black Bolt should shut up

Sam and Justin rake Doc Strange over the coals, Moon Knight gets a spoiler-free review, Antlers and Forever Purge fail to impress.

Moving NOT Movies Episode 6 - The best of the last 10 years

In this week's show, we get a request for the best movies of the last ten years. Sam and Justin do a deep dive of the last decade in cinema with a few surprises.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent - Broke my brain

Nic Cage plays Nick Cage and that's about all the trailer tells you about this. Its so much more than you think it is.
If ogres are like onions, UWOMT is the state fair winner of onions stuffed inside of the Earth's core. Even a hardcore Nic Cage fan (hello!) will have to watch this three or four times to peel away each layer of self awareness and subtle statements and meta, meta, meta. Its too deep to even get into without ruining it in a silly blog review. Yet, somehow it breaks all the rules of a layered film as its incredibly accessible to the masses. It shouldn't work as it has something for everyone including the film snobs and the casual popcorn eater and yet says directly in the dialogue that a movie such as that cannot work. Its like if Salvador Dali painted naked ladies holding American flags atop tanks that are shooting at Martian invaders.
Nic is great. I mean really truly great. Fantastic. Pedro Pascal is great. Everyone is great. Whatever, stop reading this. Just go watch this movie. You don't have to be a Cage nut (it helps) to enjoy it, have it be worth your time and investment. You'll thank yourself. Just go watch it, dammit. 

Moving NOT Movies Episode 5 - We inch closer

Sam and Justin take on Don't Look Up, Everything Everywhere All at Once, Spooky Spaceships, changing the name of the Midwest, and actual bad teaching methods (not talking to you, Florida)

Moving NOT Movies Episode 4 - Its Showtime, Dammit

This episode Sam and Justin discuss Winning Time, giant ice cubes, Justin fixes his audio, the Snyder Cut, HBO, and the greatest art thief in the history of world.

Moving NOT Movies Episode 3 - Tyler Durden is a flight risk

This week Justin and Sam discuss Coda, The Bear, STAG beer for dinner, Chunky Brunch, Hawkeye, The Witcher, Reba and TBS ruining TV for everyone, Zach Snyder and a sad story about Fight Club in space.

Moving Not Movies Episode 2 - Sam hates Wheels of Time

As a special bonus episode Sam and Tucker go on a tirade about The Wheels of Time and how much life sucks now that Justin and Jackie are MIA.

Moving NOT Movies Episode 1 - Don’t Go to Wyoming

In our first episode of our weird moving hiatus, Justin and Sam discuss exposed butts but not faces, living in Illinois, why Wyoming blows, the Oscars and wheeled hard-ons.

Lifeguard - Not Baywatch

Ex-Surfer and shirtless hunk Rick struggles with whether to continue on doing the thing he's too old for but loves or to not have sex with the 17 year old. See what I did there? Welcome to the Baywatch Prequel.
I mean seriously, this is just Baywatch right or the other way around? The story follows Mitch, I mean Rick, who is now 32 and still a beach bum lifeguard. So he has to make a choice: enter the suit-and-tie world of schmucks or keep on guarding and facing ridicule from society. Along the way, he takes on a new trainee (Parker Stevenson - yup THAT Parker Stevenson) who is attending college in the fall (possibly law school?), gets himself into a school girl crush/statutory rape situation, hooks up with an ex who is way out of his league and loses a lifeguard decathlon because he's getting too old for this shit. All this while sprinkled with various lifeguard activities that will one day become plot lines for entire episodes of Baywatch. 
This kinda sounds like a good time, doesn't it? Well its not. Lifeguard manages to deliver each of its elements with one over-arching characteristic: tedium. If its not Rick you want to slap, its someone else on screen for being near him. Maybe I just have a problem with the Peter Pan plot, but I don't want to get behind any cry-baby who doesn't want to grow up because then it means taking responsibilities for your actions. While Rick waddles from one bad decision to another, his support group just keeps encouraging his bad decision-making. So you find yourself having a real hard time getting behind anyone in the film.
Fortunately, Rick did get his act together and had a lovely child with Wendy, changed his name to Mitch and raised Hobie to be a lifeguard like his old man. It was just a different show and we have David Hasselhoff to thank for fixing this mess.