Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Episode 415 - Coronasode #1 - The Watchmen fail

CORONASODE!!! #1 - In which Justin mistakenly brings up The Watchmen when Jackie is absolutely drunk. Oops. We discuss the toilet paper shortage and weightlifter grunts. Plus reviews of Bombshell, Tiger King, Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, Knives Out and the gym speakeasy.
Our coronasode episodes are only for listeners who are very familiar with the show. There isn't any talk about bad movies, so please if you're new, download a few of our other episodes before starting here.

Firecracker - How does a naked lady get home?

A tournament to the death turns into a strange drug heist eliminate the middle-man plot, all to the backdrop of a chesty-karate lady falling for the man who murdered her sister, one Darby Hinton.
Firecracker is as good as bonkers Philippines movie as they come. None of it lines up but it's all non-stop entertaining. We should start by paying homage to the musical score. Without the score, this may be an entirely a different monster and possibly draggy in stops - although it should also be noted that the score was straight stolen from another New World Pictures project.
Lead lady, Jillian Kesner, is quite the buxom action lady - when she's actually on-screen. Most of the action is handled by a poorly wigged man in a lady's jumpsuit, thus delivering a bevvy of laughs every time she's doing action. She's clearly not there for her karate, she's there to run down a hallway in underwear and heels. And we're very ok with that.
The plot is absolutely bonkers and best if viewed fresh, but if you can explain to us how the "boss" made it to kingpin level with his criminal skills, you've got to share it with us. This is completely the idiot-plot and thus makes it a lot of fun.
We all loved it and definitely is a must watch for anyone that loves crappy karate movies.

Year 6 in Review: Part 2

Here we go with Part 2 of the most important podcast you could listen to; time to count out the very best of the films we reviewed in our 6th year of podcasting. Each of us count down our top 10, so stop what you're doing and watch these movies today. This episode we count down numbers 4-1 plus our 3 favorite movies of 2019.

Year 6 in Review: Part 1

It's that time again; time to count out the very best of the films we reviewed in our 6th year of podcasting. Each of us count down our top 10, so stop what you're doing and watch these movies today. This episode we count down numbers 10-5.

Ice Cream Man - Don't stop him when he's passing by

Clint Howard delivers ice cream and one liners as a murderous Schwann's delivery guy. Is he the Pied Piper or just every other ice cream man? With top cops, Jan Michael Vincent and Lee Majors II on his case, how can he possibly get caught?
While we're not entirely sure what this movie is, we can tell you one thing - it's a lot of fun. It doesn't rise to the so bad it's good level that Troll 2 does, but that's likely to Clint Howard being too talented - but it definitely falls into that same category and tone. The two would make a great double feature. 
When the push-pops hit the fan about 2/3 of the way through - hold on to your seats. Some of the weirdest gore scenes ever captured are here in this film. I won't reveal any highlights but expect lots of wildness with severed heads.
Jan Michael Vincent - wow. He's clearly drunk throughout the whole movie. Scenes cut just as he's about to deliver his lines as all I can guess is that he's about to barf instead. His big scene is a juxtaposition between him shambling through an insane asylum vs his partner, Lee Majors II, doing "action" in the same scenario. It's one of the greatest scenes in bad movies on how awful it is. Imagine Hobbs and Shaw but The Rock is drunk and Jason Statham is trying to show up his dad. It's wonderful.
Ice Cream Man is an absolutely great time, belongs in any bad horror movie discussion and is a much watch from all three of us. Do it.

2019 SMABFA Awards

The hottest awards for bad films in 2019 are here and the winners are all set. Listen to the 2019 SMABFA Podcast and check out all the nominees and winners below.
And the Nominees  & Winners are (winner in bold):
Best Bad Movie - The Most Enjoyable Bad Movie
Serenity
Hobbs and Shaw
Angel has Fallen
Rambo: Last Blood
Cats
Hellboy
Xmen: Dark Phoenix
Fan Poll Results - Hobbs and Shaw
Worst Bad Movie - The Least Enjoyable Bad Movie
Serenity
Cats
Pet Semetary
Hellboy
MiB: International
Ad Astra
Xmen: Dark Phoenix
Godzilla: King of the Monsters
Fan Poll Result - Cats
Best Bad Actor - Most Enjoyable Performance by a Male Actor
Sylvester Stallone - Rambo: Last Blood
Nick Nolte - Angel has Fallen
Matthew McConaughey - Serenity
Sir Ian McKellan - Cats
Kevin Hart - Hobbs and Shaw
Gerard Butler - Angel has Fallen
Idris Elba - Cats
Jason Clarke - Serenity
Fan Poll Result - Kevin Hart - Hobbs and Shaw
Best Bad Actress - Most Enjoyable Performance by a Female Actor
Anne Hathaway - Serenity
Vanessa Kirby - Hobbs and Shaw
Francesca Hayward - Cats
Jete Laurence - Pet Sematary
Milla Jovovich - Hellboy
Taylor Swift - Cats
Rebel Wilson - Cats
Dame Judi Dench - Cats
Dame Helen Mirren - Hobbs and Shaw
Fan Poll Result - Jete Laurence - Pet Semetary
MST3K Most Riffable - The easiest and most fun to make fun of film while viewing
Cats
Xmen: Dark Phoenix
Rambo: Last Blood
Angel has Fallen
Hellboy
Godzilla: King of the Monsters
Hobbs and Shaw
Serenity
Fan Poll Result - Cats
Worst Bad Actor - Least Enjoyable Performance by a Male Actor
Jason Clarke - Serenity
Jason Clarke - Pet Semetary
Liam Neesons - MiB: International
Idris Elba - Hobbs and Shaw
Tommy Lee Jones - Ad Astra
Donald Sutherland - Ad Astra
Nicolas Hoult - Xmen Dark Phoenix
Matthew McConaughey - Serenity
Idris Elba - Cats
Laurie Davidsons - Cats
James Corden - Cats
Fan Poll Result - Jason Clarke - Pet Semetary
Worst Bad Actress - Least Enjoyable Performance by a Female Actor
Sophie Turner - Xmen Dark Phoenix
Dame Judi Dence - Cats
Jennifer Hudson - Cats
Rebel Wilson - Cats
Vera Farmiga - Godzilla: King of the Monsters
Emma Thompson - MiB: International
Jada Pinkett Smith - Angel has Fallen
Anne Hathaway - Serenity
Fan Poll Result - Jennifer Hudson - Cats

From Justin to Kelly - Or How to Cause a Riot in Miami

Nothing says box office magic like a contractually-obligated lead with zero acting experience teams up for a teen sex-romp with no teens or sex with 50-something moms as the target market.
Surprisingly, 2 of 3 Stinker Madness hosts say this is a do. They say that its just so bad that it comes back around to being watchable and a must-see for bad movie fans. They say that there's enough bad dancing, terrible costumes, horrendous songs, and enough hovercraft deaths to keep one engaged. They say..well who cares what they say - they aren't writing this crap.
This movie is unviewable. If you happen to have a soul left, like this 1 of 3 Stinker Madness host still does, then while viewing this you may have some unintended health consequences, such as heads put through walls, eyeball clawing, execution of anvil-based booby traps, taking over Gotham after giving an interview to Robert Deniro and/or then giving a very strange speech that everyone seems to think they should be praising.
The characters are reprehensible. There's plenty of "boys will be boys". There's bitch friends and douche friends and friends that ruin people's lives due to their privilege. There's nerd-shaming and internet dating mocking. There's "I'll love him no matter how badly he treats me". There's assault that's instantly forgiven and on and on the list of abhorrent behavior that is forgiven because there's a song immediately afterward goes on and on and on.
The script is drivel. The songs are gadawful. And I think I'm over how silly hovercraft(s) are. Maybe I'm broken inside more than I thought. Either way, don't watch this unless you are a masochist or are touring the bottom 100. This belongs there for sure.

Navy Seals - Frat Boys with Guns

Chaz is back and with the help of Michael Biehn and Billy Paxton, sends seven guys in to blow up some moderately dangerous weapons, comes back with only four guys and commits ineptitude and crimes against humanity along the way. Recruitment has never been so good, right?
Wow, is Navy Seals a terrible representation of America's top elite fighting force. I mean, if this is how things really are, help us all because bad things are going to happen around the world. Nothing here makes the viewer say to themselves, "Hey, those guys are doing a good job. I should join up." Now, all our libtard "war is bad" attitude aside, these guys are completely inept. They take the hardest route to do the most mundane of tasks and end up getting most of them killed with each step.
Then there's Charlie Sheen's character. Sure, he's a loose cannon which we're all familiar with but where Martin Riggs is nuts, Lt. Dale Hawkins is nuts AND a complete joke and insult to our men in uniform. There's gotta be someone up the chain that says "Yeah sure he's got great hair, but he literally keeps shooting his teammates in the back, so....pass." I mean we have things called court martialing and discharges for a reason.
Next to that all, this movie likely has one of the worst soundtracks ever made. Even if you're into butt-rock, you'll likely be missing earplugs when such great songs like Bon Jovi's cover of The Boys are Back in Town and two (2!) songs by Mr. Big. Yikes.
While it's a pretty solid time with lots of ludacricity there's just too much dicking off for my tastes and Chaz thinking that he's still in Platoon. Good if you've never seen it but on revisit its just too draggy.

The Black Hole - Plot can't escape it

A couple trash-cans team-up to assist in the destruction of many soulless husks all on a mission that is never stated all so the villain can become Dante and rule all of hell from inside of a Cylon.
While that sounds absolutely nutty, we hope that you're able to get to any of those points because this movie's primary problem is...zzz...zzz. Oh I'm sorry, just thinking about this film put me to sleep like warm milk. It's painfully boring. Once you get past the excellent model work (that doesn't have enough shots), the spectacular theme by John Barry (which you're done with after the first 3 times you hear it) and Robert Forster just being Robert Forster (a damn pro), you're left with endless exposition, painful banter between the robots, a completely up-his-own-ass villain just for the sake of it and tedium. Endless tedium.
However, the last 15 minutes of the film are absolutely bonkers. We got very little clue here guys about what the actually hell happened once the (of course) everyone goes into the black hole. For some wild reason, Disney decided to cram some Dante's Inferno and conceptual imagery of heaven (we think) and have absolutely no idea why. If someone could help us out in the WHY, not the what, we'd be thankful.
Besides the bore factor, the film breaks its own rules constantly, the whole thing is the idiot-plot (whole plot could have been avoided had just one character not been an idiot), and the acting (aside from Forster and he's just doing what he can with what he's got to work with) is atrociously over-the-top. Which would all be fine and enjoyable if you'd managed to stay awake. Skip this one.

Beyond the Law - Beyond the Bananas

Charlie Sheen puts on his tough guy face and then realizes he still has that Charlie Sheen face, so he runs with it. Here Topper Harley gets a little too close to the edge, in much hilarious fashion.
So the film's plot (while LOOSELY based off the real life Dan Black) is a pretty conventional "cop goes undercover and almost goes over the point of no return" but the manner in which its delivered makes for a pretty solid LOL time while adding in a lot of room for riffing. There's this juxtaposition between going dark and goofball humor that completely conflict with each other, making a weird tone to the entire experience. 
This is all just backdrop for Chaz. Wow, what a terrible cast. Here's the thing. Everyone up until about 1995 saw Platoon and said, "I can do that. I just need to cast the weakest part of that movie." So this is just more of that, but it's hilarious. He's so bumbling in his lines and when he finally goes too close to edge and freaks out its about as good as you or I could do and we stink at acting, friend.
Next to his performance is the cast of characters surrounding Dan. Everyone's a little too nutty/inept to have made it to where they are in life. His love interest should be named Red Flag, his best friend tries to kill him for education, his nemesis is a kingpin of the drug industry and spends his free time robbing convenience stores for some Whatchamacallits and lives in a trailer and his government handler will let you spit in his face so meet the FBI Director. It's great!
Thus making it not stinker gold but 100% a good Sunday recommendation from us.