Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

A Family Affair - Not even white noise is this unremarkable

I'm sorry, I already forgot everything about this movie. And so will you.
"A Family Affair" (2024) is a film that struggles to rise above mediocrity in almost every aspect. From its trite and mundane script to its overall tone and feel, which screams Hallmark Original, this movie is a disappointment on multiple levels.
The plot is as predictable as it gets, with clichéd dialogue and uninspired story arcs that fail to engage or surprise the audience. It feels like the writers took every tired trope they could find and stitched them together into a barely coherent narrative. There is no depth, no innovation, and certainly no spark to elevate the story from the realm of the forgettable.
Adding to the film's woes is the atrocious makeup, which somehow manages to make its lead actors look weirdly unnatural. Instead of enhancing their features, the makeup seems to have been applied with a heavy hand, creating an off-putting appearance that distracts from their performances.
The music is another glaring issue. With a score that sounds like it was produced on a Casio keyboard, the soundtrack lacks the sophistication and emotional resonance that a good film score should provide. It does little to support the scenes and often feels more like an afterthought than an integral part of the movie.
In summary, "A Family Affair" is as remarkable as shaving—a mundane and routine task that leaves no lasting impression. Save your time and look elsewhere for entertainment, as this film offers little more than a regrettable waste of an evening.

Alley Cat - Park Prey

Don't go running in the park at night! It's not smart!
If you ever find yourself yearning for a film that epitomizes the phrase "so bad it's good," look no further than the 1984 classic Alley Cat. This cinematic gem stars Karin Mani as Billie, a karate black belt street justice fighter whose commitment to poor decision-making is nothing short of legendary.
Alley Cat’s plot is a tangled mess of incoherence and absurdity. Billie, our fearless heroine, seems to have an inexplicable obsession with venturing into the park at night. You’d think that after the first few attacks and a trespassing arrest, she might reconsider her nocturnal strolls. But no! Billie’s dedication to wandering into danger is rivaled only by her proficiency in delivering high kicks to hapless thugs.
Watching Billie’s nightly park excursions is like watching a moth repeatedly fly into a flame. Each visit is an invitation for trouble, and trouble eagerly RSVP's every time. It's almost as if Billie is playing a demented game of tag with the local hoodlums, with predictably disastrous results. You’ll be left wondering if her karate training included a special course on how to make the worst possible life choices.
And then there's the nudity. Oh, the nudity. Alley Cat revels in its gratuitous display of skin in the most bafflingly unnecessary ways. It's as if the filmmakers were contractually obligated to include a certain amount of nudity and were determined to meet their quota no matter how nonsensical the context. Shower scenes, changing scenes, random scenes – no opportunity is too absurd for a sudden disrobing.
The dialogue in Alley Cat is peppered with one-liners so laughable, they deserve a place in the Bad Movie Hall of Fame. Billie’s attempts at badassery through quips and retorts are a masterclass in unintentional comedy. Gems like, "Don't mess with girls in the park; that's not nice!" (its a little worse than that, Billie) are sure to leave you in stitches.
For fans of riffing, Alley Cat is a veritable treasure trove. The sheer absurdity of the plot, combined with the wooden acting and ludicrous dialogue, provides endless fodder for mockery. Gather your friends, pop some popcorn, and prepare for a night of hilarity as you and your crew take on this cinematic disasterpiece.
Alley Cat is a film that transcends its awfulness to become something good, not great but good. It's a perfect storm of terrible decisions, laughable dialogue, and gratuitous nudity, all wrapped up in a plot that makes you question the very nature of storytelling. In short, it's so bad, it's a good time. Don’t miss this opportunity to revel in the glory of a terrible and terribly fun film.

Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator - Boot Betty in the Bunsen Burner

Did Stephanie ever have to worry about the incinerator?
"Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator" is a delightful surprise that defies all expectations. As someone who was anticipating the typical over-the-top antics synonymous with Troma releases, I was completely taken aback by the film's unique charm. This movie is not just another exploitative romp; it's a cleverly written, weirdly funny, and remarkably well-directed gem that stands out in the world of low-budget cinema.
From the moment the film begins, it's clear that this is not your average Troma fare. The writing is sharp and unexpectedly nuanced, weaving a narrative that is as engaging as it is bizarre. The story, filled with twists and turns, keeps you guessing until the very end. It's a testament to the screenwriter's talent that a plot this offbeat can remain so coherent and entertaining throughout.
Humor plays a crucial role in "Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator," and it's executed with a finesse rarely seen in B-movies. The comedic elements are woven seamlessly into the fabric of the story, providing laughs that feel natural rather than forced. This film strikes a perfect balance between its darkly comedic moments and its more surreal, unsettling scenes, creating an experience that is both amusing and oddly captivating.
Perhaps the most impressive aspect of the movie is its direction. The film's director, surprisingly, manages to pull off a level of craftsmanship that rivals, and sometimes surpasses, many big-budget productions. The use of camera angles, the pacing, and the overall aesthetic are handled with a sophistication that belies the film's modest budget. Each scene is meticulously crafted, enhancing the narrative and adding depth to the characters in ways that are rarely seen in this genre.
"Stuff Stephanie in the Incinerator" is a hidden treasure in the Troma catalog. It's a film that not only entertains but also challenges the conventions of what a low-budget movie can achieve. If you're looking for a movie that is weird, funny, and exceptionally well-made, this is one you won't want to miss. It is a testament to the idea that creativity and talent can shine through, regardless of budget constraints.

Madame Web - Failed to predict my devastating boredom

Look into your future and see if you're gonna be in any other movies. Looks bleak! 
"Madame Web" is a masterclass in how not to make a superhero movie or really any movie for that matter. From start to finish, it's a torturous slog through wooden acting, a plot riddled with more holes than Swiss cheese, and an antagonist so one-dimensional and implausibly powered that it feels like the writers stopped caring halfway through.
The acting, if it can even be called that, is painfully stilted. Each line is delivered with the enthusiasm of someone reading a grocery list, making it impossible to connect with any of the characters. The supposed chemistry among the cast is non-existent, leaving the audience to endure awkward interactions and flat dialogue that makes the lengthy runtime feel even longer.
As for the plot, it seems the writers threw coherence out the window but more likely were shackled by the studios fidgeting from the "men in ties" department. The story is a tangled mess of nonsensical events that fail to build any meaningful narrative or tension. Plot holes abound, making it difficult to follow the story's logic—or lack thereof. Key elements are either unexplained or glossed over, leaving viewers scratching their heads in confusion.
The antagonist, Ezekiel, is a joke, lacking any depth or motivation that would make him remotely interesting or threatening. His powers are as dubious as their purpose, fluctuating wildly with no consistency or explanation. This lack of a compelling villain drains the movie of any potential excitement or stakes.
The only thing worse than the plot and the characters is the pacing. The movie drags on interminably, with large portions dedicated to watching teenage girls bicker about the most trivial matters. It's excruciatingly dull, making you wish for the credits to roll long before the story reaches its lackluster climax.
In short, "Madame Web" is a painfully boring disaster that fails on nearly every level. Save yourself the agony and skip this cinematic train wreck.

Atlas - Shrug

Thrill as J-Lo complains in a chair in front of green screen for 45 minutes. That butt, tho....
"Atlas," starring Jennifer Lopez, aims to be a thrilling sci-fi adventure but ultimately lands in the realm of forgettable mediocrity. The plot, which revolves around a dystopian future and a battle for humanity's survival, is riddled with flaws and holes that make suspension of disbelief a constant struggle. The storyline feels hastily stitched together, with plot twists that are more confusing than surprising.
Lopez's portrayal of Atlas, the protagonist, is another sticking point. The character is meant to be a strong, determined leader, but instead comes across as overly whiny and frustratingly indecisive. This makes it difficult to root for her, as her constant complaints overshadow any moments of genuine heroism or strength.
The dialogue in "Atlas" doesn't help matters. It often feels stilted and unnatural, almost as if it was generated by an AI—mechanical and devoid of real human touch. Characters spout lines that are meant to be profound or witty, but end up sounding awkward and forced.
In the end, "Atlas" isn't terrible enough to be a guilty pleasure, nor is it good enough to leave a lasting impression. It's the kind of movie that slips through the cracks of memory, neither bad enough to laugh at nor good enough to recommend. If you're looking for a mindless sci-fi flick to pass the time, "Atlas" might just do the trick—but don't expect it to be anything more than a fleeting diversion.

Robot Jox - This Jox's for you

Less people get sat on by robots in war, I guess.
So Robot Jox is a conglomeration of many other staples in 1989. You've got a post-apocalyptic setting thanks to the Cold War. You've got a sports related global event ala Rollerball, Deathrace 2000, Running Man, et. al. And you've got robots fighting ala Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots. Ok, maybe the last one was a stretch but you get the picture. Lastly, you've got a critical factor. George Lucas. 
Yes, Lucas made all the money when he kept the licensing rights to the Star Wars franchise and then became the richest man in the galaxy when the toy line was released. Well, Charles Band hoped for no less. With the meteoric rise of The Transformers and subsequent collapse when the killed Optimus Prime within the first 10 seconds of the movie, Charlie say an opportunity to sell giant robots IF the movie Robot Jox was successful. 
Narrator: It was not.
Oh well. But it does add a very interesting connection to another film that wanted to make all the toys - Megaforce. But that's not where the connections stop. There's much thumb gesturing, a general friendship/enemyship between the sides, the general tone and aesthetic, each have Tex characters, a lead that's just a big cheesedick (ok that's a lot of movies), a useless and vague system of resolving conflicts between nations and a female love interest/agitator to the lead that bear strong resemblances to each other.
So as to the film. Well.... its a very interesting world for a PA movie. With most being just roving hordes of bandits running through the desert in junker cars attacking scantily clad women until a lone warrior comes to town. This world is actually more like something out of a sci-fi book with subtle geo-political themes and technological ideas that....well... sadly, go completely unfulfilled and unexplored. The creepiness of the butt hole lead are far more developed and way overindulged. 
How about some positives?  Well the effects are some of the best I've seen from a Charlie Band film. The stop-motion animation brings these colossal robots to life with a fluidity and realism that still holds up today, making the combat sequences believable and genuine. The miniatures themselves are well designed and the fight sequences are gonna give your robot fighting fan all that's wanted for a non-cgi film.
"Robot Jox" is a delightfully goofy, visually impressive film that sparkles but doesn't ever shine. The stunning miniature work and stop-motion animation make it a must-watch for fans of practical effects, and while the protagonist and plot leave much to be desired, they somehow add to the film's quirky appeal. If you're looking for a fun, nostalgic trip with a healthy dose of 80s sci-fi flair, "Robot Jox" is the perfect pick. But for us....we're gonna stay on Team Megaforce.

Highlander: The Final Dimension - The Nonsense Returns

The Highlander theatrical cannon comes to a close...by making all the same mistakes as the first two movies and we can't thank them enough for it.
Highlander: Final Dimensions is a rollercoaster of absurdity that somehow manages to entertain despite its sheer ridiculousness. From the mind-boggling plot that's as convoluted as a tangled ball of yarn to the laughably bad acting that makes you wonder if the cast drew straws to see who would overact the most, this movie truly embraces its own brand of campiness.
Let's talk about those special effects. Cheesy doesn't even begin to cover it. It's like someone raided the bargain bin at a 90s CGI outlet store and said, 'Yep, this'll do.' But you know what? It adds to the charm. You can't help but chuckle at the sight of the so-called 'epic battles' that look like they were choreographed by toddlers with foam swords.
And then there's Mario Van Peebles. Bless his heart, he goes all-in with a portrayal that can only be described as unhinged. It's like he read the script and decided to throw any semblance of sanity out the window. But hey, at least he's committed, right?
But here's the thing about Highlander: Final Dimensions—it knows exactly what it is. It's not trying to be highbrow cinema or win Oscars. It's embracing the insanity of the Highlander trilogy with open arms and inviting you along for the ride. And what a wild ride it is.
So, if you're in the mood for some mindless fun, grab your popcorn, suspend your disbelief, and dive headfirst into the glorious mess that is Highlander: Final Dimensions. Because sometimes, you just need a movie that's as bonkers as this trilogy to remind you that cinema doesn't always have to make sense to be entertaining.

Year 9 in Review

Its that time of year where we celebrate another year of reviewing and loving bad movies. Each year we count down our individual favorite movies we saw in the last 12 months. If you want to find out exactly which bad movies you should watch right now, this is the episode you'll want to listen to. Can we finally all agree on a #1?
Plus we also countdown our favorite 3 movies released in 2023.

The Rage - Good thing anti-American militias have such terrible plans

Are you enough of a tough guy verbally to handle how much of a tough guy everyone is in this movie when even the ladies are tough guys? No chance.
"The Rage" is a rollercoaster of a movie, and not necessarily in a good way. Strap in for some truly crazy stunts that will have you gripping the edge of your seat... or maybe just scratching your head in confusion.
Lorenzo Lamas, Gary Busey, and Roy Scheider lead the charge in this adrenaline-fueled thriller, but even their combined star power can't salvage the wreckage of a script that seems to have been cobbled together in a hurry. The dialogue is so melodramatic it borders on unintentional comedy, and not even Busey's trademark wild-eyed intensity can save it.
Sure, there are moments where the action ramps up to heart-pounding levels, with stunts that defy logic and gravity alike. But every time you start to feel the adrenaline kick in, you're rudely yanked back to reality by yet another cringe-worthy set of dialogue.
In the end, "The Rage" is like a souped-up sports car with a faulty engine – it may look flashy on the outside, but once you get behind the wheel, you realize it's headed straight for a cliff.

Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama - Not as slimey as lead to believed

Hot coeds go to a bowling alley and unlock a poop monster and find death and love in the process.
"Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama" is a delightful romp through the absurd and the outrageous, delivering a unique blend of horror, comedy, and pure camp that is sure to entertain audiences of all tastes. Released in 1987, this cult classic is a testament to the creativity and ingenuity of low-budget filmmaking.
First and foremost, the film's title alone sets the tone for the wild ride viewers are about to embark upon. It promises a mix of sorority shenanigans, grody antics, and the unlikeliest of settings—a bowling alley. And boy, does it deliver! From the moment the opening credits roll, audiences are thrust into a world where anything goes and no joke is too outrageous.
What truly sets "Sorority Babes" apart is its commitment to embracing its B-movie roots with open arms. The practical effects may be cheesy by today's standards, but they're executed with such infectious enthusiasm that it's impossible not to be charmed. From the mischievous imp in a bowling trophy to the gloriously over-the-top finale, every scene is infused with a sense of fun and a knowing wink to the audience.
In the end, "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama" is a love letter to the spirit of budget filmmaking and the power of embracing the unconventional. It may not be high art, but it's an absolute blast from start to finish—a must-see for fans of cult cinema and anyone looking for a good time at the movies. So grab your popcorn, gather your friends, and prepare to be bowl-o-ramaed!