Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Gymkata - Don't let Trump watch this

USA Gold Medal magnet, Kurt Thomas, stars as John Cabot, a USA Gold Medal magnet/super secret agent/diplomat to strange lands. So he solo invades Parmistan, an absolutely insane country, to play "The Game" to get a satellite substation. Well that makes perfect sense!
Gymkata is serious shenanigans. It could be argued that it's the most bonkers movie we've reviewed and definitely the most poorly thought out. While most might focus on the unawesome martial art that combines gymnastics and karate (which puts it in the Streaming Do's and Don'ts realm) the country of Parmistan is our focus. Parmistan is impossible. It can't work. How does diplomacy work? Do they have foreign trade? Is their military only made of ninja or are they more like the secret police? Is there a system of government besides the Khan? I personally believe that someone, probably Pakistan, would have bombed Parmistan back into the Stone Age, but Parmistan never got out of the Stone Age so I guess bomb them back to the times of the dinosaurs (they may also have dinosaurs).
This is a really terrible movie. Sure, it's fun. But not fun in the usual manner. Take Megaforce for example. It's really bad but it's awesome. The action is awesome, the vehicles are awesome, the bad guy's awesome. It drips awesome. But Gymkata is the opposite. When Kurt Thomas fights guys using his special style it's quite not awesome. It's laughable at how dump it looks. If a child pretends to fight with Gymkata with their friends in the backyard, they are going to get beat up. It's a one way ticket to Bullytown.
This is a so bad it's amazing material. SOOOOO bad. Great time.

Prelude to Gymkata

This week on the podcast we gear up for one of the most notorious bad movies ever made and a hallmark of stupidity. When you need to invade a country that doesn't make any sense, send in an Olympic Gold Medalist!
The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate
Immunity to negative drug side effects - 7.75 out of 10 stars
The 2016 SMABFA Nominations
Best Bad Movie
The Huntsman: Winter’s War
London Has Fallen
Gods of Egypt
Mechanic: Resurrection
Nine Lives
Zoolander 2
The Boy
Independence Day: Resurgence
Worst Bad Movie
Mother’s Day
Alice Through the Looking Glass
Warcraft
Now You See Me 2
Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
Suicide Squad
X-Men: Apocalypse
Ghostbusters
Allegiant
Best Bad Actor
Gerard Butler -  Gods of Egypt
Kevin Spacey – Nine Lives
Gerard Butler - London has Fallen
Jason Statham – Mechanic: Resurrection
Brent Spiner – Independence Day: Resurgence
Bill Pullman - Independence Day: Resurgence
Chris Hemsworth -  Huntsman: Winter’s War
Christopher Walken – Nine Lives
Worst Bad Actor
Jared Leto - Suicide Squad
Tye Sheridan – Xmen: Apocalypse
Bill Murray – Ghostbusters
Daniel Radcliffe – Now You See Me 2
Jeff Goldblum – Independence Day: Resurgence
John Depp – Alice through the Looking Glass
Jesse Eisenberg – Batman V Superman
Best Bad Actress
Emily Blunt - Huntsman: Winter’s War
Charlize Theron - Huntsman: Winter’s War
Jessica Alba – Mechanic: Resurrection
Gal Gadot: Batman V Superman
Margot Robbie - Suicide Squad
Kristen Wig - Zoolander 2
Maika Monroe – 5th Wave
Vivica A. Fox – ID4; 2
Penelope Cruz – Zoolander 2
Anne Hathaway – Alice through the Looking Glass
Aubrey Plaza – Dirty Grandpa
Worst Bad Actress
Jessica Alba – Mechanic: Resurrection
Kate McKinnon – Ghostbusters
Jennifer Aniston – Mother’s Day
Lizzy Caplan – Now You See Me 2
Kate Hudson – Mother’s Day
Penelope Cruz – Zoolander 2
Cara Delevingne - Suicide Squad
Anne Hathaway – Alice through the Looking Glass
Mia Wasikowska - Alice through the Looking Glass
Jennifer Garner – Nine Lives
MST3K Riffibility 
Nine Lives
Ben-Hur
Mechanic: Resurrection
Independence Day: Resurgence
Batman V Superman
Dirty Grandpa
The 5th Wave
Gods of Egypt
Huntsman – Winter’s War

She-Devil - The 80's strike down women again!

Roseanne gets "vengeance" upon a hubby-stealing romance novelist, by destroying her own life, abandoning her children, treating other's as pawns in her master plan, and exploiting the weak and trusting women in need that the films tells you she is freeing from oppression. This thing is a mondo-turd.
I hate this movie. I'll make no apologies to start. It's not funny. It's infuriatingly preposterous and at no point can one sympathize or appreciate any of the characters. They are the "basket of deplorables" that I believe Mrs. Clinton was speaking about; politics aside, she just hated these three people. Let's start with the easy spots: Ed Begley's Bob and Meryl Streep's Mary. The viewer isn't supposed to like them. They are the antagonists with Bob being an emotionally abusive and cheating husband (with a side order of being a buffoon) and Mary, an egotistical, spoiled and sociopathic bitch (for lack of a better word). Sure, they're the bad guys. You shouldn't like them. But in a comedy, you should enjoy them. In this POS, the screen-time shared between Begley and Streep comes across as a poor impression of The Three Stooges (minus 1). "Wow, aren't they zany!?" said the producer. The audience responds by pissing on said producer's pants.
Then there's ol' Ruth (Barr). Now she's had a rough go, right? Her husband's a twat, society told her that she's growdy and that darn Mary is just everywhere reminding her how inferior she is. So instead of taking a stand and defending herself against the offenses of her environment she plays along. She takes these punches and even stands by her cheating husband saying "He'll get bored of Mary and come back to me. I just need to be the good, dutiful wife until then." I'm sorry, you want him back? Strike one. Strike two is that you've let this happen before. The film subtly states that this isn't Bob's first escapade in cheating. Strike three, he's verbally abusive to you. I'm sorry but I feel that in even in sexist 1989, any woman that we should view as an inspiration should probably have told Bob at some point to eat shit. Yes I understand that abused women sometimes get a version of Stockholm Syndrome, but I'm not trying to make a point about reality. I'm making a point about a film that says that women shouldn't take no shit from no asshole, even if they are their husbands (and that is correct) but the film also states that hey, if you get lonely after you do, why not take him back? Screw this.
Then there's the worst part of Ruth's "journey": her exploitation of the women around her. Her character starts as an abused and low self-esteemed housewife with no chance at anything because of what society and her husband has told her. Ok...then she starts an employment agency that specializes in finding placement for women that are exactly like she was. Ok.....but then she uses them, ruining their lives, as part of her revenge plot against Bob and Mary. She doesn't help these women. She exploits their weaknesses just as had been done upon her. Fuck this person and fuck this movie.
In the end, take away these massively unlikable and unenjoyable characters and your left with a film with a poor story, little to none quality humor, absent directing, and too many cooks trying to pull the film into different directions of a women's empowerment piece and a screwball comedy and accomplishes neither of them. Avoid at all costs.

Prelude to She-Devil

Roseanne Barr and Meryll Streep join up to deliver the yucks and yuck is what they deliver in a tale about a scorned middle-American housewife revengifying the atrocities committed upon her person and also liberating womankind from oppressions. She just makes things worse....
Listener Feedback
@StinkerMadness Inappreciate you guys redoing a whole show to get it on the air. Technical difficulties suck. It happens. Still funny ?
— Ry (@ryanmoralesaz) January 9, 2017
Brad Slager AKA @martinishark
You guys can NOT deprive us of SMABFAS! Gut it out!!!! (he says from the frigid climes of So. Florida)
Take a look at Brad's Worst of 2016 list!
http://www.misfitspolitics.com/misfitmigrants/the-worst-films-of-2016-a-viewers-guide
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Tenement - YouTube
Demolition Man - HBO Now
Dreamcatcher - Netflix
The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate
Gun Butt - 3/10 Stars

Odds and Evens - Legit Comedy Shenanigans

Terrence Hill and Bud Spencer put on their best Abbott & Costello hats and deliver the hijinxs en masse. It's a banana show of endless goofs and shenanigans that never lets off the gas.
The problem with this movie is....nothing. This is just a great legitimate comedy. We didn't laugh AT this movie, we laughed with it. The jokes are timed impeccably. They are new and fresh and unique. While completely outlandish and bonkers, this film never gets into that dangerous 70's live-action cartoon territory (we're talking to you C.H.O.M.P.S.). It's brilliant and a model for classic slap-stick that put the Zucker brothers in such high standing.
Bud and Terrance are, as they should be, your classic comedy duo. They are complete opposites and tie right into the ol' straight-man/goof-ball model. But the unique thing is that the giant beast man that bares an uncanny semblance to Andre The Giant is the straight man, while the handsome, charming and snappy guy is the Daffy Duck. It's fantastic and works so well for these two.
While the plot may be a bit dubious (the Navy wants to secure their hold on the Florida gaming market from the mob?) and some of the character motivations are...unexpected, this film delivers something that most modern comedy can't - legitimate laughs mixed with over-the-top shenanigans. We applaud this film and should be a much bigger deal.

Prelude to Odds and Evens

For 22 pictures, Terrance Hill and Bud Spencer played the ultimate in comedic buddy-cop movies and this week on the podcast, Sam brings in one of their best in Odds and Evens.
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Icebreaker w/ Rifftrax - Amazon Prime
Vehicle 19 - Netflix
Gor II (Outlaw of Gor) - MST3K YouTube
The Wild Card - Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor (Buddy Cops)
Riggs & Murtaugh - Lethal Weapon
Cates & Hammond - 48 Hrs.

Tango & Cash - Romance & Splosions

Two cops find love in each other's egos, while attempting to clear their names from a villainous plot to take over the world's salted caramel industry. Stallone and Russell team up for one of the raddest buddy cop dumb-dumb rollercoaster. It's shenanigans.
Tango and Cash is incredibly stupid. There is absolutely no sense of reality here. The villain uses mice, that he loves, to demonstrate his evilry. He owns monster trucks that have guns mounted on them. Hidden assassin's inside of mirrors (we think) and gun-shoes. Physics don't apply. Time and distance are more of guidelines...
Then there's the leads...wow do they love each other. Let me be clear, if this had been made today, they very well could have been the first openly gay supercops in a major motion picture. They really love each other on the inside and feel passionately about each other's genitals. I'm not making this up. Longing gazes at junk are quite frequent.
With all that, this film rules. It is so much freaking fun and really is a landmark in stupid action movies. It's over the top in all manners with an explosion count in the millions. Toss in some zingers, some puzzling character decisions, wild stunts, and a monster truck and you've got a pre-90's buddy cop blast.

Prelude to Tango & Cash

This week on the Stinker Madness Podcast, we tackle the classic "buddy" cop film from 1989 with Stallone and Russell in a weird incestuous love triangle, framed for murder, take down the vague bad guy, and enjoy some off-roading. It's Tango & Cash!
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Miracles Still Happen - YouTube
Maniac Cop - Shudder.TV & Fandor
Manhattan Chase - Amazon Prime
Phenomena - Amazon Prime
The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate
Being a Vulcan - 2.5/10 stars (Not good)

2012 - Bad acting is the apocalypse

Roland pulls out all the stops in the disaster genre by blowing up the entire planet (sorta). Bad science and bad acting abound in one heck of a production, but does that translate into a good time?
Lets just start by saying this film is way too long. By the 3/4 point even the diehard dumb movie viewer is tired and bored of the "excitement". It just keeps going and going and going. That would be ok if you could possibly be emotionally invested in the characters in anyway. But you just want them all to die.
The acting is awful. Woody Harrelson steals the show with his terrible hippie Art Bell. But he's not alone. John Cusask shows us why he went straight to VOD after this. His Jackson Curtis is about the least likable character in all of film. He's a giant douche who at no point redeems himself. Amanda Peet (who somehow manages to keep her top on) does nothing to thrill us. Danny Glover looks quite confused throughout.
The action/disaster sequences though...wow. If they were an amp, they would go to 11. But as mentioned they eventually become stale, bogged down by the surrounding idiocy of the script. Too much is such a thing....
So 2012 was a sure disappointment on second viewing. This one is best left in the $2 bin at the pawn shop.

Prelude to 2012

Well we exit 2016 with a bang...sorta. We went ahead and re-recorded our previous attempt at 2012, since we bungled the first versions and now in all it's glory we dive into the 2009 film from stinker Hall of Famer, Roland Emmerich in which the world explodes...sorta.
Casual Do's and Don'ts
Hellbent (1988) - IMDB
Demolition High - YouTube
The Village of the Giants - MST3K on YouTube OR standard version
The Wild Card - Pop Quiz Hotshot (2012 Edition)
A Judy Garland dress which sold for $302,000 in 2012 was worn in which movie? The Wizard of Oz
What is the year 2012 in Roman numerals? MMXII
Who became the oldest actor to win an Oscar in 2012? Christopher Plummer
What member of the Monkees died in 2012? Davy Jones
Name the devastating mid/N American hurricane of Oct 2012? Sandy
What film released in 2012 went on to win Oscar gold? Argo
Razzie winner? Twilight 4