Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Prelude to She-Devil

Roseanne Barr and Meryll Streep join up to deliver the yucks and yuck is what they deliver in a tale about a scorned middle-American housewife revengifying the atrocities committed upon her person and also liberating womankind from oppressions. She just makes things worse....
Listener Feedback
@StinkerMadness Inappreciate you guys redoing a whole show to get it on the air. Technical difficulties suck. It happens. Still funny ?
— Ry (@ryanmoralesaz) January 9, 2017
Brad Slager AKA @martinishark
You guys can NOT deprive us of SMABFAS! Gut it out!!!! (he says from the frigid climes of So. Florida)
Take a look at Brad's Worst of 2016 list!
http://www.misfitspolitics.com/misfitmigrants/the-worst-films-of-2016-a-viewers-guide
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Tenement - YouTube
Demolition Man - HBO Now
Dreamcatcher - Netflix
The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate
Gun Butt - 3/10 Stars

Odds and Evens - Legit Comedy Shenanigans

Terrence Hill and Bud Spencer put on their best Abbott & Costello hats and deliver the hijinxs en masse. It's a banana show of endless goofs and shenanigans that never lets off the gas.
The problem with this movie is....nothing. This is just a great legitimate comedy. We didn't laugh AT this movie, we laughed with it. The jokes are timed impeccably. They are new and fresh and unique. While completely outlandish and bonkers, this film never gets into that dangerous 70's live-action cartoon territory (we're talking to you C.H.O.M.P.S.). It's brilliant and a model for classic slap-stick that put the Zucker brothers in such high standing.
Bud and Terrance are, as they should be, your classic comedy duo. They are complete opposites and tie right into the ol' straight-man/goof-ball model. But the unique thing is that the giant beast man that bares an uncanny semblance to Andre The Giant is the straight man, while the handsome, charming and snappy guy is the Daffy Duck. It's fantastic and works so well for these two.
While the plot may be a bit dubious (the Navy wants to secure their hold on the Florida gaming market from the mob?) and some of the character motivations are...unexpected, this film delivers something that most modern comedy can't - legitimate laughs mixed with over-the-top shenanigans. We applaud this film and should be a much bigger deal.

Prelude to Odds and Evens

For 22 pictures, Terrance Hill and Bud Spencer played the ultimate in comedic buddy-cop movies and this week on the podcast, Sam brings in one of their best in Odds and Evens.
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Icebreaker w/ Rifftrax - Amazon Prime
Vehicle 19 - Netflix
Gor II (Outlaw of Gor) - MST3K YouTube
The Wild Card - Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor (Buddy Cops)
Riggs & Murtaugh - Lethal Weapon
Cates & Hammond - 48 Hrs.

Tango & Cash - Romance & Splosions

Two cops find love in each other's egos, while attempting to clear their names from a villainous plot to take over the world's salted caramel industry. Stallone and Russell team up for one of the raddest buddy cop dumb-dumb rollercoaster. It's shenanigans.
Tango and Cash is incredibly stupid. There is absolutely no sense of reality here. The villain uses mice, that he loves, to demonstrate his evilry. He owns monster trucks that have guns mounted on them. Hidden assassin's inside of mirrors (we think) and gun-shoes. Physics don't apply. Time and distance are more of guidelines...
Then there's the leads...wow do they love each other. Let me be clear, if this had been made today, they very well could have been the first openly gay supercops in a major motion picture. They really love each other on the inside and feel passionately about each other's genitals. I'm not making this up. Longing gazes at junk are quite frequent.
With all that, this film rules. It is so much freaking fun and really is a landmark in stupid action movies. It's over the top in all manners with an explosion count in the millions. Toss in some zingers, some puzzling character decisions, wild stunts, and a monster truck and you've got a pre-90's buddy cop blast.

Prelude to Tango & Cash

This week on the Stinker Madness Podcast, we tackle the classic "buddy" cop film from 1989 with Stallone and Russell in a weird incestuous love triangle, framed for murder, take down the vague bad guy, and enjoy some off-roading. It's Tango & Cash!
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Miracles Still Happen - YouTube
Maniac Cop - Shudder.TV & Fandor
Manhattan Chase - Amazon Prime
Phenomena - Amazon Prime
The Wild Card - The Great Superpower Debate
Being a Vulcan - 2.5/10 stars (Not good)

2012 - Bad acting is the apocalypse

Roland pulls out all the stops in the disaster genre by blowing up the entire planet (sorta). Bad science and bad acting abound in one heck of a production, but does that translate into a good time?
Lets just start by saying this film is way too long. By the 3/4 point even the diehard dumb movie viewer is tired and bored of the "excitement". It just keeps going and going and going. That would be ok if you could possibly be emotionally invested in the characters in anyway. But you just want them all to die.
The acting is awful. Woody Harrelson steals the show with his terrible hippie Art Bell. But he's not alone. John Cusask shows us why he went straight to VOD after this. His Jackson Curtis is about the least likable character in all of film. He's a giant douche who at no point redeems himself. Amanda Peet (who somehow manages to keep her top on) does nothing to thrill us. Danny Glover looks quite confused throughout.
The action/disaster sequences though...wow. If they were an amp, they would go to 11. But as mentioned they eventually become stale, bogged down by the surrounding idiocy of the script. Too much is such a thing....
So 2012 was a sure disappointment on second viewing. This one is best left in the $2 bin at the pawn shop.

Prelude to 2012

Well we exit 2016 with a bang...sorta. We went ahead and re-recorded our previous attempt at 2012, since we bungled the first versions and now in all it's glory we dive into the 2009 film from stinker Hall of Famer, Roland Emmerich in which the world explodes...sorta.
Casual Do's and Don'ts
Hellbent (1988) - IMDB
Demolition High - YouTube
The Village of the Giants - MST3K on YouTube OR standard version
The Wild Card - Pop Quiz Hotshot (2012 Edition)
A Judy Garland dress which sold for $302,000 in 2012 was worn in which movie? The Wizard of Oz
What is the year 2012 in Roman numerals? MMXII
Who became the oldest actor to win an Oscar in 2012? Christopher Plummer
What member of the Monkees died in 2012? Davy Jones
Name the devastating mid/N American hurricane of Oct 2012? Sandy
What film released in 2012 went on to win Oscar gold? Argo
Razzie winner? Twilight 4

Black Christmas - A real family Xmas, if you're a psycho

When you've been stuck in an attic, are literally yellow, and forced to be your mom's sperm donor for your whole life, you're probably going to have some issues. So pick up your pokey objects and take some eyeballs out in the name of Santa!
The problem here is that this film, while somewhat entertaining, is just too generic and blasé. It's a slasher with fairly little imagination. When you come into a slasher film, you're here for one thing - ridiculous death scenes. This film does NOT have that. There's fairly vague death scenes (oh the camera cut away, the horror!), there's "deaths" that people wouldn't actually die from (such as a tiny icicle shattering through your skull, dropped from a height of 3 feet), and pretty meh makeup. The obsession with eyeball mutilation is over done and gets old after the first two eyeball sequences.
HOWEVER, the plot is super-super stupid. There's two killers, spoilers (too late). And they are possibly the worst, least effective slashers in the history of film. As mentioned, most people wouldn't die from their injuries inflicted, one lady dies on complete accident, and two of them die from impossibility, leaving 3 actual murders accomplished and 1 girl to go ahead and kill the slashers. Meaning out of 12 people, only 3 of them die. Pretty good work guys. Jason or Freddy would have tore through these dumb girls in about 15 minutes.
The killer's motivations are pretty unclear as well. Best we can figure they just want to have a nice Christmas with each other in the house they grew up in. So if that's actually the plot of the film....then this is a movie that understands and declares the true meaning of Christmas. So a surprise there, for sure.
It's fine, there's nothing wrong with this one. But there's not anything that makes this stand out either. There's plenty of missed opportunities that keep this out of being a true stinker classic. Fun dumb plot, bad slasher deaths and a frustrating lack of nudity. Only watch if you are out of good things to do. 

Prelude to Black Christmas

Jingle jingle and egg nog hangover ahoy! It's that magical time for awful crappy holiday movies and Jackie's dialed up a slasher with a special Xmas message; don't ever remake a classic film with a bunch of day-player bimbos.
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Nine Deaths of the Ninja - Mill Creek - B-Movie Blast 50 Pack
Hundra - Amazon/Epix
Missing in Action - YouTube/TubiTV
The Wild Card - Good Xmas/Bad Xmas
Eternia - He-Man/She-Ra Xmas Special
Hobo with a Shotgun Town
Kazook - Star Wars Holiday Special

3000 Miles to Graceland - How to ruin Elvis

Two A-Listers make us question their entire career in what appears to be a metaphorical hang-down contest of who is the tougher guy that gets weekly manicures and follicle treatments. It's Costner vs Russell in full Elvis tradition....the tradition of dying on a toilet.
3000 Miles to Graceland is one of the most inaccurate titles ever. See this map: http://obeattie.github.io/gmaps-radius/?lat=53.484652&lng=-99.643463&z=3&u=mi&r=3000. That is 3000 Miles from Graceland (Elvis' house). Now we learn that the ship Kurt Russell tries to get to and is located in Mt. Vernon, WA and their trip starts in Las Vegas. That is a journey of about 1,800 miles. So good job already.
Now as far as the film. It sucks. Costner stinks, Russell stinks, Arquette REALLY stinks (but dies early so there's that) and Slater stinks. Courtney Cox looks pretty good but she unfortunately stinks as well. No one in this film is likeable. 
The true tragedy of this film is the cast yes but the writing and editing truly is painful. Yes, it's got that early 2000 over-editing plague. Slo-mo, fast cuts and graphics. Butt music, check. Terrible looking CGI (Scorpions battle to the death?), check. Making farts not funny, check. It's a clinic on crappy film-making.
The events of the film don't make any sense. Character interacts are dubious. The action is completely stupid. But in the end, the true tragedy of this film is that it's a 2 hour penis size competition with idiots. I didn't like it, I don't think you will either.