Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Annabelle - I am NecraZul, Lord Demon of the LA Rams and Tea Parties

A horror movie that thrills its audience with...uh....hmmm...sewing? Oh and a demon is summoned out of loneliness and a desire to have tea parties with dollies. This is so unbelievably bad.
"Annabelle" (2014) is a cinematic catastrophe that makes you question the very fabric of horror filmmaking. From a plot that can only be summarized as "a cult summons a demon who likes to play with dolls," to characters so insipid and carelessly written that you'll find yourself wishing for their swift demise, this movie is a masterclass in how not to make a horror film.
The narrative is so painfully dull that it makes you wonder if the filmmakers were even trying. The premise of a demonic entity toying with dolls could have been intriguing, but "Annabelle" manages to suck every ounce of excitement out of it. The scares are predictable, the tension is nonexistent, and the entire plot feels like a lazy rehash of every demon haunting movie ever made.
Let's talk about Mia, the main character who single-handedly takes the crown for the most inexplicably stupid and careless protagonist in horror history. As she faces supernatural threats, Mia's decisions become increasingly irrational, leaving audiences more frustrated than frightened. You'll find yourself yelling at the screen, not in terror, but in disbelief at the sheer idiocy and carelessness of her actions.
To add insult to injury, the film employs a narrative device that informs us the events we just suffered through never actually took place. It's a lazy attempt at following contractual obligations with the basis for it's "true story" that only serves to render the entire viewing experience utterly pointless. It's as if the filmmakers themselves realized the mess they had created and decided to hit the reset button, leaving audiences with a profound sense of wasted time.
Comparing "Annabelle" to other cinematic disasters like "Monster-A-Go-Go" might actually be an insult to the latter. While both films share the common denominator of  having a plot only to reveal it was all a sham and deserving of zero stars, at least "Monster-A-Go-Go" doesn't pretend to be a good movie.
In conclusion, "Annabelle" is a horror film that fails on every conceivable level – from its moronic idiot plot to its infuriatingly dimwitted characters. Save yourself the agony and opt for a more thrilling cinematic experience, even if it means watching paint dry or staring at a blank screen.

Highlander II - Immortal Space Laser Conspiracy Theory

Whether they are spacemen or from 1999 or from before the dinosaurs, The Immortals make some really stupid decisions and are pretty bad for Earth. How bout there can only be none?
If you're a fan of mind-bending and utterly nonsensical movies, then "Highlander 2" is your ticket to an alternate reality where coherence takes a vacation and weirdness reigns supreme.
The film kicks off with a bang, introducing us to the flying porcupine brothers. Yes, you read that right. These airborne creatures are an essential part of the movie's charm, leaving audiences scratching their heads and wondering if the scriptwriter had a secret petting zoo of mythical creatures hidden away or a crack addiction. Either is the only reason why you would include these two boneheads who look ridiculous and act even worse in your Highlander movie.
One of the standout moments has to be the love scene against a dingy city wall. Forget romantic sunsets or candlelit dinners; "Highlander 2" throws you into the lovely ambiance of a dirty wall in a crowded street somewhere between bizarre and uncomfortable. It's the kind of love scene that makes you question the director's choices but also keeps you glued to the screen out of sheer curiosity.
Michael Ironside's character is a whole other level of ludicrous. His over-the-top performance adds a delightful layer of absurdity to the film. You can't help but chuckle at the sheer audacity of his character's antics. Ironside seems to have embraced the chaos, turning his role into a masterclass of overacting that deserves its own spotlight.
And then there's Sean Connery's character, who apparently missed the memo on the rules of mortality. The film doesn't bother explaining how he's miraculously alive again, leaving us to ponder whether there's a magical head-putter-back-on machine somewhere in the Highlander universe or if Connor MacLeod's affection for Ramirez is enough to resurrect the dead.
"Highlander 2" is a head-scratching, eye-rolling, and laugh-out-loud experience that defies logic at every turn. It's a cinematic rollercoaster that leaves you questioning the boundaries of storytelling and wondering if the scriptwriters were playing a game of "how many absurd elements can we fit into one movie?"
If you're in the mood for a movie that embraces the chaos, revels in the nonsensical, and features flying porcupine brothers, "Highlander 2" is your golden ticket to a world where anything goes, and explanations are for the weak. Strap in, and prepare for a ride you won't soon forget – whether you like it or not. We loved it.

Double Trouble - It takes two, baby

The Paul Bros. bench-press their way into our hearts and into a crime caper where they have to put their backs together and look over their shoulders with expressions that say, "You did it?" and "No, I thought you did it?"
In the vast landscape of '90s comedies, "Double Trouble" emerges as a hidden gem that not only stands the test of time but also showcases the surprisingly impeccable comedic timing of the Paul brothers, turning what could have been just another buddy comedy into a riotous joyride.
First and foremost, what sets "Double Trouble" apart is the unforeseen comedic synergy between its stars, the dynamic duo of the Paul brothers. David and Peter Paul's on-screen chemistry is nothing short of infectious, with their banter and physical comedy elevating the film to unexpected heights. The brothers' ability to bounce off each other's energy showcases a natural comedic instinct that few could have predicted, making their performances a delightful revelation.
What truly sets this film apart, however, is its self-awareness. "Double Trouble" doesn't take itself too seriously, and it's this very self-awareness that adds an extra layer of humor. The Paul brothers seem to revel in poking fun at themselves, embracing their public personas with a wink and a nod. This self-deprecating humor not only endears them to the audience but also creates a unique and refreshing atmosphere that keeps viewers engaged from start to finish.
The film's plot, while not groundbreaking, serves as a perfect canvas for the Paul brothers to showcase their comedic prowess. The narrative provides ample opportunities for spontaneous, laugh-out-loud moments, and the brothers seize each one with gusto. The well-crafted humor is not only in the dialogue but also in the physical comedy and absurd situations that the characters find themselves in, making "Double Trouble" a rollercoaster of hilarity.
Beyond the laughs, the film's pacing deserves commendation. The comedic timing is spot-on, with jokes landing at just the right moments, creating a rhythm that keeps the audience on the edge of their seats, eager for the next punchline. The pacing, coupled with the Paul brothers' infectious energy, makes for a film that is not just funny but downright entertaining.
In the end, "Double Trouble" is a testament to the unexpected comedic talents of the Paul brothers and the film's commitment to being a rollicking good time. It's a rare gem that combines self-awareness, impeccable comedic timing, and genuine fun, making it a must-watch for anyone looking to escape into a world of laughter and camaraderie.

Detective Knight: Redemption - Go how you wanna go, Bruce

Bruce Willis says goodbye in the only way he knows how - by blasting fools with a shotgun. Merry Christmas - you're dead!
If you're a fan of detective movies, you will want a thrilling plot with well-thought-out mysteries and a satisfying resolution. Unfortunately, "Detective Knight Redemption" failed on all fronts. But, honestly, you should care about any of that. Read on.
The plot of the movie is nothing short of stupid and poorly laid out. It felt as if the filmmakers prioritized flashy action sequences and brooding characters over a coherent and engaging storyline. The narrative seemed to be in a hurry to move on to the big Bruce Willis shooting scene, sacrificing any semblance of a compelling detective mystery.
What disappointed me the most was how the movie glossed over Detective Knight's crime-solving process. Instead of immersing the audience in the intricacies of the investigation, the film seemed more interested in showcasing Willis in his signature shoot-'em-up style. It's almost as if the filmmakers assumed that the audience wouldn't care about the detective aspect of the movie, neglecting a fundamental element that defines the genre.
While I can't deny that Bruce Willis doing Bruce Willis stuff has its appeal, it shouldn't come at the expense of a well-crafted detective plot. "Detective Knight Redemption" seems to cater more to fans of generic direct-to-video crime movies who might not mind the lack of depth in the storyline. If you're looking for substance, intricate mysteries, and a satisfying detective experience, this movie is definitely not the one for you.
While it's not a good or really enjoyable movie, it is a special swan-song to one of Hollywood's biggest stars. Yes it's a DTV movie that is generic but knowing what we know about Bruce's health and capabilities at the time of filming is something special. Bruce's dedication to doing something he loved for as long as he could and a group of people around him to help him achieve that goal is inspiring. The film might not be interesting but the production of it is - and that would be a movie I would like to watch.

The Christmas Consultant - Don’t Hassel Your Christmas Man

When you hire a pro, just let the pro do his job. You're still the one smart enough to hire him, lady!
If you're in the mood for a festive film that perfectly encapsulates the true spirit of Christmas, look no further than Lifetime's original movie, "The Christmas Consultant," starring none other than the one and only David Hasselhoff. This holiday flick manages to blend heartwarming moments with a dash of Hoff ridiculousness, creating a unique and surprisingly delightful experience.
At its core, "The Christmas Consultant" is a tale of family, love, and the magic that comes with the holiday season. The film beautifully illustrates that Christmas is a time for togetherness, and it resonates with the idea that family extends beyond blood relations. The storyline is laced with heartwarming scenes that remind us of the importance of being surrounded by loved ones, even for those who might not have a traditional family to call their own.
Now, let's talk about David Hasselhoff. The Hoff, as always, brings his own brand of charisma and charm to the screen. While his over-the-top portrayal may seem a tad ridiculous at times, it's precisely this whimsical quality that makes the movie so entertaining. Hasselhoff's larger-than-life presence adds a layer of fun to the film, and you can't help but smile at his sheer enthusiasm for the Christmas festivities.
The movie's strength lies in its ability to balance the sentimental with the absurd, creating a holiday concoction that feels just right. It's a refreshing departure from the typical holiday movie formula, and the decision to cast Hasselhoff as the Christmas Consultant is nothing short of inspired.
In "The Christmas Consultant," you'll find yourself laughing, getting squishy insides, and ultimately embracing the true meaning of Christmas. So, if you're looking for a movie that captures the holiday spirit and adds a touch of Hoff-inspired cheer, this one is a fine "do". Gather your loved ones, settle in with some hot cocoa, and let David Hasselhoff guide you through a holly, jolly Christmas cheese fest like no other.

Elf-Man - Better than socks, I guess

An elf gets ditched by his horrible boss, Santa, and is forced to fend for his life because some bratty girl doesn't appreciate the life her father has built for her as a single dad. Oh and Jeffrey Combs!
"Elf-Man," a 2012 holiday film, falls into the category of hokey family Christmas movies that attempt to capture the true spirit of the season but ultimately miss the mark. While it's not as bad as one might initially fear, it still leaves much to be desired.
The film follows the escapades of an elf who teams up with a young girl to save Christmas from bad guys, a premise that has been explored countless times in various forms. Unfortunately, "Elf-Man" fails to bring anything fresh or innovative to the table. The storyline feels formulaic, and the attempts at humor often fall flat, relying heavily on clichés and predictable gags.
The film's portrayal of the true spirit of Christmas feels forced and contrived. Instead of delivering a heartwarming message that resonates, "Elf-Man" opts for sentimental clichés, missing an opportunity to explore the deeper, more meaningful aspects of the holiday season. The character development is shallow, and the emotional moments lack the authenticity needed to truly connect with the audience.
Despite these shortcomings, it's important to note that "Elf-Man" isn't an outright disaster. The production values are decent, and the cast does its best with the material provided. For those seeking a mindless, lighthearted Christmas movie to entertain the family, it might serve its purpose. However, for those looking for a film that captures the true essence of Christmas with substance and originality, "Elf-Man" might leave them feeling a bit underwhelmed.

Highlander - Listen first before sending death threats

Just because we think its nonsense doesn't mean we AND you can't like it, but seriously....
Highlander, the 1986 fantasy film directed by Russell Mulcahy, is a cinematic rollercoaster that manages to be entertaining despite its numerous flaws. To put it bluntly, it's not a good movie in terms of traditional filmmaking standards, but there's an undeniable charm and fun factor that makes it enjoyable for those who appreciate its chaotic nature.
One of the major issues with Highlander is its convoluted plot. The film tries to blend elements of fantasy, science fiction, and historical drama, creating a narrative that feels like it's trying to do too much at once. The result is a confusing and overly complex storyline that often leaves viewers scratching their heads. Immortal warriors battling through the centuries could have been a compelling premise, but Highlander takes it to such extremes that it becomes a total mess.
The acting in Highlander is nothing short of over-the-top, with Christopher Lambert's portrayal of the immortal Scotsman Connor MacLeod bordering on campy. While Lambert's performance may not be a masterclass in subtlety, it adds a certain charm to the film. Similarly, Clancy Brown as the villainous Kurgan hams it up with relish, delivering lines with a theatricality that is both cringe-worthy and oddly captivating.
The special effects in Highlander are undeniably cheesy, even by 1980s standards. The low-budget visuals, combined with questionable choreography in the fight scenes, result in moments that are more likely to induce laughter than awe. However, these flaws contribute to the film's unique appeal. There's a certain nostalgia attached to the practical effects and dated visuals that endear Highlander to a specific audience willing to overlook its technical shortcomings.
In the end, Highlander is a guilty pleasure. It's a film that you can love for its quirks and enjoy for its unintentional humor, all while acknowledging its lack of cinematic finesse. The messy plot, over-the-top acting, and cheesy effects somehow come together to create a cinematic experience that, while far from being a quality film, manages to be a memorable and entertaining ride for those who appreciate its peculiarities. Highlander is a case where the sum of its parts somehow adds up to an oddly enjoyable whole.

Dirty O’Neil - It’s not his police work that’s dirty - it’s his d---

Officer Jimmy O'Neil avoids the hard life of hard-boiled cops by taking it easy and just banging ladies, until justice needs some sweet, sweet loving too.
"Dirty O'Neil," released in 1974, is a film that takes you on a wild journey through the low crime streets of suburban Los Angeles. While the movie has its merits, it certainly has its drawbacks, too.
Let's start with the positive aspects. The film avoids capturing the essence of the '70s cop movie, instead choosing to spend most of its time with a goofball musical score and small vignettes of casual sex adventures. The setting and atmosphere are inauthentic, immersing viewers in the smutty life of its protagonist, Jimmy O'Neil.
Speaking of Jimmy O'Neil, the character portrayal by the lead actor is commendable. O'Neil is a charismatic and enigmatic figure, navigating the dangerous landscape of the mundane streets littered with hot babes with a certain flair.
However, the movie's major flaw lies in its plot, or rather the lack thereof for a significant portion of its runtime. Approximately 70% of the film seems to meander without a clear direction, leaving viewers somewhat lost in tedium. It's as if the screenplay got lost in the haze of the '70s counterculture, resulting in a narrative that struggles to find its footing.
Another aspect that leads to this plot absence is the abundance of gratuitous nudity throughout the film. While the '70s were known for pushing boundaries, "Dirty O'Neil" takes it to a level that is an amazing achievement for the time. Yet, the constant presence of nudity can overshadow the potential for a more substantial storyline and character development.
Perhaps one of the most peculiar aspects is the remarkably high female body count attributed to the protagonist, Jimmy O'Neil. Clocking in at a staggering 11, it surpasses even the legendary James Bond's exploits. While this may add an element of intrigue to the character, it borders on the absurd and raises questions about the film's underlying message.
"Dirty O'Neil" is a mixed bag of '70s charm, flawed storytelling, and gratuitous elements. If you're in the mood for a wild ride through the unconventional, this film might just scratch that itch. However, be prepared for a meandering plot with an abundance of nudity that could enhance or distract from the overall viewing experience.

Bloodfist III - Forced to Watch

Don "The Dragon" Wilson is not the same guy as the first two or the last five movies. This time he's in prison and......oh sorry fell asleep.
If you're searching for a thrilling martial arts experience, "Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight" ain't it. This lackluster sequel not only fails to capture the essence of its predecessors but falls flat on every front, from its uninspiring plot to its lackadaisical fight choreography.
The storyline, if it can be called that, is a haphazard collection of tired tropes and predictable turns. Don "The Dragon" Wilson stars as the protagonist, but even his competent martial arts skills can't salvage the train wreck that is the script. The narrative lacks depth, originality, or any semblance of intrigue. It feels like a mishmash of recycled ideas from countless B-grade action films, making it painfully clear that creativity took a back seat during the writing process.
The action sequences, touted as the film's main attraction, are a major letdown. The stunt work and fight choreography are downright boring and lack the finesse expected from a martial arts movie. The punches and kicks lack impact, and the overall flow of the action feels disjointed and uninspired. What should be the film's saving grace turns out to be its Achilles' heel, leaving the audience yearning for more engaging and dynamic fight scenes.
Even Don "The Dragon" Wilson, a martial arts veteran with a commendable track record, fails to elevate the film. While he showcases his undeniable skills in various fight scenes, his charisma as a lead actor is sorely lacking. Wilson's performance feels wooden and uninspired, leaving the audience indifferent to the fate of his character. It's disappointing to see a competent martial artist reduced to a lackluster leading role that does nothing to showcase his true potential.
In conclusion, "Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight" is a forgettable installment in the martial arts film genre. With a bland plot, uninteresting stunt work, and a lackluster lead performance, it fails to leave any lasting impression. Save your time and seek out more captivating martial arts movies that actually deliver on the promise of excitement and entertainment.

Rockula - Maybe don’t turn into a bat, Ralphie

Dean Cameron is a vampire who doesn't bite people but has to relive the death of his beloved Moana who is killed every 22 years by a pirate wielding a ham-bone. But not this year, buster!
"Rockula" is an absolute blast from the past that's so bad, it's fantastic! This 1990 gem takes the term 'cult classic' to a whole new level. Let's start with the music – it's so gloriously terrible that it somehow becomes insanely catchy. The tunes are like a guilty pleasure you can't help but hum along to, despite their wonderfully cheesy lyrics and over-the-top '80s vibe.
The music videos? Oh boy, they're a whole different spectacle! They're wonderfully goofy, with a delightful mix of tacky special effects and absurd dance sequences that are impossible not to love. They're so hilariously bad that they loop back around to being enjoyable.
Now, let's talk Tawny Fere – she's undeniably smoking hot, but her singing? Bless her heart, she can't carry a tune for the afterlife. Yet, that's part of the movie's charm! Her lack of singing prowess somehow adds to the whole 'so bad it's good' allure. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion – you can't look away, and somehow you're smiling the whole time.
And the vampire bat! Goodness gracious, it's like a Halloween decoration come to life. The sheer goofiness of the vampire bat is just another reason to love this film. It's so hilariously unconvincing that it's endearing. You can't help but chuckle every time it makes an appearance.
"Rockula" is the kind of movie you watch with friends, armed with popcorn and ready to laugh at its glorious absurdity. It's a delightful time capsule of the '80s that's so wonderfully terrible, it transcends badness and becomes a delightful experience. If you're up for a dose of pure, unadulterated fun, "Rockula" is an absolute must-watch!