Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Prelude to Mortal Kombat: Annhilation

We open the episode with Sportcenter's coverage of the Mortal Kombat association vs. the Mortal Kombat Players Association legal battle over injuries in the sport.
We get ready to experience the "watchable crap" called Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, the sequel to the massively successful Mortal Kombat (1995). Is there a chance that it could possibly be not a giant turd and as much fun as the first one? Odds are not good with it's 11 Metacritic score.
In lieu of Streaming Do's and Don'ts this week, our friend @martinishark has gifted us the entirety of Seven (1979). We are now able to finish our total review from the debacle that was our episode that got cut short thanks to bad Internetting.
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
Jar Jar Binks
The Love Guru
Ace Ventura (again)

Ed - Because kids are dumb, right?

Ed is the masterfully crafted story of a farmer turned worlds best pitcher ever with the help of a hilarious baseball-playing chimpanzee all while discovering the magic of baseball and the magic of children. Or it could be a film about the demonstration making a movie without knowing how baseball and/or animals work with the magic of baseball and the magic of children. You decide!
Ed deserves to be in the IMDB Bottom 100. It truly is an awful movie. We think that watching Ed alone may be the worst idea that anyone could have. But with a pretty solid group of riffers Ed can be a good time. It does all it can to help you make funny jokes while watching it. If riffing a bad movie is like a gun, then Ed buys the expensive bullets and then loads the gun for you.
Individual Ratings:
Over the top action:Cheesy effects:Horrendous acting:Laugh-out-loud-ability:Ridiculous stunts:Gratuitous nudity:Memorable one-liners:
Overall Ratings:
Good Movie Quality: Bad Movie Quality:
Good Movie Quality: Bad Movie Quality:

Prelude to Ed

Brought to you by TRASH. The new channel featuring animals playing sports. Order TRASH today!
Matt LeBlanc graces our TV in the 1996 mega-stinker Ed. Its about a movie of a man in a monkey suit playing baseball! Plus there's a chimpanzee who plays baseball! (Our apologies to Matt LeBlanc, that joke is just way to easy to make)
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Outcast - Netflix
Can't Buy Me Love - Netflix
Star Wars Episode I - The Phantom Menace - HBO Now
Star Wars Episode II - Attack of the Clones - HBO Now
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor 
Apologize to our fans, but Sam totally blew it and didn't come up with any good neighbor, bad neighbor picks. If you see him, please shame him publicly.

Hell Comes to Frogtown - A Masterpiece

Donald G. Jackson, Roddy Piper, Sandahl Bergman, and Steve Wang all completely nail it in Hell Comes to Frogtown. It can be argued that there is no funner "bad movie" ever made, especially when how much little money was spent. Sam Hell enters Frogtown to gets some fertile women rescued and then make sweet sweet love to them. This movie rocks.
We'll start with our dearly departed Roddy. There's no one out there that could have done a better job with the role of Sam Hell. Period. Roddy nails the role. He's snide, sarcastic, witty, action-packed, intense, funny, and charming. Sam Hell can rival just about anyone out there as for likable characters. Sam Hell is just as lovable as Ash (Evil Dead) or Danton (Deadly Prey). The guy is bad ass and too much fun.
Our problem with this film is that its considered a bad movie. It's NOT. This is a high quality, well executed piece with absolutely no flaws. The acting is spot on, the effects are top notch, the story properly delivered, the script is incredible and the very well spent money make this a perfectly made film. Sure if you were to tell someone who has never heard of it that its a movie about a guy with superior sperm has to free some sexy ladies from giant mutated frogs it sounds like a typical bad movie. But this film is as high quality as 90% of films out there.

Prelude to Hell Comes to Frogtown

This episode we pay tribute to one hell of a human being, one of the best entertainers in history and possibly the sole reason that Vince McMahon has a successful business; one Roddy Rowdy Piper. In 1988, shortly after the success of They Live, Roddy starred in a little film called Hell Comes to Frogtown. It's the story of a man in charge of boning lots of ladies while kicking ass along the way. Well that sounds pretty rad....and it is.
On a personal note, Hot Rod was a real big deal to me. I grew up watching and rooting for Rowdy and Macho Man more than any other wrestlers. I remember being astounded about how energetic Roddy was and how everyone else seemed so rehearsed but he was just off the cuff with anything he said. You could see whoever was on camera with Roddy being completely unprepared with dealing with Roddy. I loved it. Roddy, you'll be missed. Say hi to Randy Savage for me.
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Moonbase - Netflix
The Avenging Eagle - Netflix
I Am Soldier - Amazon Prime
Conan The Barbarian - Netflix
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
Rip "The Ripper" Thomas - No Holds Barred
Fezzick - The Princess Bride
Drax the Destroyer - Guardians of the Galaxy

I Know Who Killed Me - AKA Doppel Bang Her

LL stars in her Razzie winning opus/masterpiece of terrible cinema, twice! It's the story of a mixed up teen and her mixed up teen doppelganger who suffer from "non-religious stigmata" and death by not finishing piano training. It may be the least frightening horror movie ever made!
Lindsey Lohan wows us in the film. She may not have been aware she was in movie for about half of the film. She appears to be either on ludes or vodka quite frequently. You can see her tune out of being there when not giving lines and sorta just stares at the wall. Her "stripping" is awful in that she doesn't actually strip. Oh she dances then? No she doesn't do that either. She just sorta makes a poopy face and slithers around the pole. Wow. I've never stripper danced before but I'm pretty sure I could have done a better job.
Despite all this we kinda enjoyed this movie. Its VERY riffable. A couple funny friends and a couple Lohan style glasses of vodka and you can have alot of fun. It's really really bad and really really dumb but still alot of moments that are laughable. Giant cat balls, mirror monologueing,  disappearing characters, inept cops, and a robot hand delivered by Snoop Dogg...this thing doesn't let up with dumbness. We recommend it.
Over the top action:Cheesy effects:Horrendous acting:Laugh-out-loud-ability:Ridiculous stunts:Gratuitous nudity:Memorable one-liners:
Overall Ratings:
Good Movie Quality: Bad Movie Quality:

Prelude to I Know Who Killed Me

Presented by "I Know Who My Agent Is" the horror film that only scares Hollywood. An agent sets out to kill Lindsey Lohan, Paul Giamatti and Will Smith's careers. The horror!
Jackie brings in another multi-Razzie winner, with 8 wins, including Worst Actress and Worst Picture. It's the Lohan, starring in her first role as a crack whore but refuses to take her top off. Can it possibly be worse than Wicker Man?
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Q - The Winged Serpent - YouTube
Curtains - YouTube
Mad Foxes - Now removed from YouTube, Sorry.
The Invitation - Netflix
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
Gus Gus - Cinderella
Catwoman - Catwoman
Teela - He-Man and the Masters of the Universe

Seven - The first 83 minutes are great!

It's the second film from Stinker Madness stalwart, Andy Sidaris. No, it's not that one with Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman. It's the story of seven agency operatives taking down seven criminal overlords on lovely Hawaii for the price of seven million dollars. It's got all the classic staples from Andy and we love it! At least the first hour and 23 minutes, because we haven't seen the end of this film.
WHAT?!?! You're going to do a review of a movie you haven't seen all of? Nope we aren't. Sorry to disappoint guys. There's not going to be a review in this one. However, it's quite important to still discuss this film and how we watched it. We were forced to watch this film on YouTube. Because it's not available by any other means. That's right you can't get your hands on this film. It's not for sale. Now here's the real rub. The YouTube copy cuts out at 83 minutes with an ad for a Japanese porno site. Nice. The real fun thing is that this movie keeps getting removed for copyright infringement by the copyright owner. They have that right. But if you're going to do that then make it available to buy, please. Idiots. (It should be noted that friend of the show, Arlene Sidaris does NOT own the rights to this film. We believe that Hugh Hefner does.)
Anyways, there's still plenty of a good time in the 83 minutes we did see. It's an odd film in that it is a heist movie with nothing being stolen. It's setup and paced as a heist movie with the recruitment of a team of individuals with unique skill sets, a elaborate and difficult plan with only a small window of time to execute it and only one try allowed, quick interlaced cuts between moments of actions between the individual players, and so forth. But the story is just some guys taking down some bad guys. It makes for a lot of fun and is VERY well edited. From what we saw, this may be Andy Sidaris' best directed film. 
We really loved the first 83 minutes of Seven. Hopefully we'll be able to get a fully copy from a listener in the next few weeks and can update this review.

Prelude to Seven

Before Malibu Express, Andy Sidaris directed a film called Seven. It's quite hard to find and rarely seen and has been on our list for ages. It stars William Smith and is about seven operators taking on seven villains in Hawaii. Buckle up for the ride!
This episode we have no streaming do's and don'ts but we instead discuss the Top Ten Stinker Staples. Be sure to read the whole list.
10. Sobriety superpowers
9. Better take our shirts off
8. Not understanding how phones work
7. The bad guy is bad....because.
6. The lifeless dummy
5. Unlimited ammo
4. Freezeframe, credits
3. Truckin'
2. Leaving by unopened window
1. The Exploding Helicopter
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
Jordan Tate - Under Siege (Erika Eleniak)
Barb Wire - Barb Wire (Pam Anderson)
Jill Munroe - Charlie's Angels (Farrah Fawcett)

Near Dark - More Bill Paxton please

It should be noted that Sam gets pretty wasted on this episode. We mean very wasted. Like Noah drunk. Be sure to listen at the end for drunk Sam outtakes.
Near Dark is highly praised for being the best vampire movie ever made. However that's like saying that the Pinto is the best car that explodes on impact ever made. Its the tale of a farm boy who falls in love with a wandering stranger that's not like any of the other girls. He then goes on a wild ride with a gang of nomads in a van until sunlight wins the day again.
Well....we don't like this movie. We found it to be a colossal disappointment with some really misses. In that, the primary problem with this film is that Bill Paxton is incredible. You heard it. Bill Paxton does a fantastic acting job. He nails it. He's infectious. He's memorizing. "Why is that a problem?" you might ask. Because there's far too little of him on screen. His role is super limited and angered us. Hey Bigelow, we want more Paxton!
The movie would have been really great would have worked so perfectly as a graphic novel. A graphic novel would have allowed for ongoing stories about the vampire nomads going from town to town and wrecking bars, eating people and running from the fuzz. But there's no story here for a movie. A movie has a limited run time so a full story must be flushed out in that time. This does not happen here. The characters take no internal journey and can be summed up as "boy gets turned into a vampire, boy gets Tim Thomerson blood transfusion, vampires get lit of fire, freezeframe, credits."
In the end, the film is just kinda glittery and boring. Characters just drive around and then drive around. Nothing happens. There's way too much Twilight business. And not enough Bill Paxton business!!! Boooooooooo.....
Individual Ratings:
Over the top action:Cheesy effects:Horrendous acting:Laugh-out-loud-ability:Ridiculous stunts:Gratuitous nudity:Memorable one-liners:
Overall Ratings:
Good Movie Quality: Bad Movie Quality: