Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Prelude to Near Dark

Brought to you by World War V. It's every single badass vampire killer vs every stupid vampire from the last 10 years. Blade leads Buffy, James Crow and the Frog Brothers against the Twilight buttholes, John Depp's Barnabas, Selene from Underworld, and Luke Evan's Vlad.
It's time we take a look at one of the highest praised vampire movies of all time. It's Near Dark starring Bill Paxton, Adrian Pasdar and Lance Henriksen. Is Near Dark really that awesome or is it just one of the first films that stray from Bram Stoker's Dracula and Nosferatu? Justin is rolling the dice with this pick as it is so highly praised. Could this be the second "good" film reviewed by this "bad" movie podcast?
We also get to some listener feedback and take alot of heat for picking Johnny Mnemonic. Apparently there's quite a few people that think it is a good movie. They are wrong.
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Monsters; Dark Continent - Netflix
Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey - Netflix
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighborhood
Blade
The Frog Bros
Buffy

Road House - Pain Don't Hurt, but Throat Rips do

Dalton gets brought into make a bar even less fun, get paid way too much, prevent alcohol from being served and then rip everyone's throats out. It's the bad movie classic Road House, 5 time Razzie nominee starring Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliot.
This is one of the most viewed and loved bad movies of all time and there's a reason it's so popular. It's ridiculous. It's one hell of a good time. The action is over the top, the dialogue is hilarious, the acting is a atrocious and the plot of completely stupid. It's fantastic.
Road House is an epic in "tough guy" business. Every character is super tough (but not as tough as Dalton, of course) and all of the women are damsels that have one motivation in life; get your boobs out. If you get offended by some pretty one dimensional female characters you might want to avoid this one. But if you can get past how offensive this film is, you're in for a great ride. It is one of those rare films that never takes its foot off the gas pedal. It's a really dumb gas pedal but that thing is pegged for 90 minutes. Great great great time!
Individual Ratings:
Over the top action:Cheesy effects:Horrendous acting:Laugh-out-loud-ability:Ridiculous stunts:Gratuitous nudity:Memorable one-liners:
Overall Ratings:
Good Movie Quality: Bad Movie Quality:

Prelude to Roadhouse

Presented by The Antiques Road House. Dalton stops by to help analyze some precious valuables.
This episode we get a preview of the 1988 classic stinker, Road House, starring Patrick Swayze, Sam Elliot and Ben Gazarra. It's a whole hodown at the Double Deuce bar. How many bottles will we smash over each other's heads?
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Congo - Netflix
Deep in the Darkness - Netflix
Donner Pass - Netflix
Leprechaun 2 - Netflix
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
Oda Mae Brown - Ghost
Baby Houseman - Dirty Dancing
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Johnny Mnemonic - Downloading 320GB to a VCR Tape? Uhm...what?

It's a cyberpunk trip through the Internet with Keanu Reeves as he portrays Johnny Mnemonic, a hard-drive installed brain courier guy who has to deliver the cure for Chronic Internetitis Addiction to a group of resistance fighters trying to free our minds from evil corporate influence.....or something?
The primary problem with this film is that it makes no a lick of sense. Johnny's motivations are contradictory to his actions. The "bad guys" do things to stop Johnny from making his delivers when it seems that they are the only people that would want to hire him in the first place. Everyone seems to be just doing things to do things. Really if everyone just lets Johnny deliver his digital goods, then its in everyone's best interests. Lastly, the whole idea is that Johnny has to deliver 320GB in person with the data stored in his brain. Today, we do that by uploading the data to the cloud and no brain courier is ever needed. It's a terribly inaccurate vision of the future.
The good news is that its a total blast of badness that is a true gem to watch. It's impossibly stupid, horribly ridiculous, and laugh a minute fun. The action sequences are super dumb and combined with the "going into the Internet" scenes make for a ton of laughs and good riffing with friends. There's never a dull moment in this film and makes for a great viewing experience. Get out your VCRs, put this in, travel into the future and then be ready to try to figure out what the hell just happened with some friends.
Individual Ratings:
Over the top action:Cheesy effects:Horrendous acting:Laugh-out-loud-ability:Ridiculous stunts:Gratuitous nudity:Memorable one-liners:
Overall Ratings:
Good Movie Quality: Bad Movie Quality:

Prelude to Johnny Mnemonic

Brought to you by Johnny Pneumatic. Keanu Reeves and Rosmand Pike gets trapped in an annoying steampunk world and gets his armed replaced with a drill (just go with it).
Its time for us to finally see what the Internet looks like from the inside with 1995's Johnny Mnemonic, starring Keanu Reeves and Dina Meyer, with fun appearances of Dolph Lundgren, Henry Rollins, Udo Kier and Ice-T doesn't screw it up!
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
The Lost Boys - Netflix
The Howling V: The Rebirth - Netflix (no longer availabe, bummer)
Cyborg - Netflix
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
Mr. Anderson (Not "The One", but Neo before he takes the red pill) - The Matrix
Ted "Theodore" Logan - Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure
Officer Jack Travor - Speed

Prelude to Corvette Summer

Presented by Corellian Corvette Summer, the story of a moisture farmer and a Twilek with a heart of gold that gets his CR90 Corvette stolen. If only he'd made it to Tashi Station...
Justin delivers his favorite romantic bad movie with Mark Hamill and Annie Potts and the buttest Corvette ever. Its Corvette Summer from 1978. It's the story of a socially awkward virgin on the hunt of a stolen ugly car, along the way falling for a hooker in training. 
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Repo! The Genetic Opera - Netflix
Mortal Kombat: The Movie - Netflix
Age of Ice - Netflix
The Cobbler - Netflix
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
Agent Clarice Starling
Eleanor Ripley
Lance Stargrove

Can't Stop the Music - You Can't Stop The Nuts

The very first Razzie winner gets an in depth look and wow, is it bad. It truly is worse than Xanadu (which we feel is quite the achievement). Its a fake biopic of how the Village People became successful but has no basis of reality. And we should mention that its super gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).
The film builds a universe that is not something we want to have anything to do with. People don't have jobs, people just come in and out of people's homes, random people off the street get pulled into parties without wanting to come to and people have NO concept of how anything works in real life. New York is built to be Camelot from Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail (Never mind, let's not go to Camelot. Ti's a silly place.) We would not like to go there.
The real badness of this film is that they try to, as Sam puts it, "knock the gay off the Village People". The gayness of this movie is the truly fun part of the film but it is so muffled by the stupid story and by trying to make the Village People's characters be straight men. If you went to see this movie wanting to see a film about gay men shaking their asses, then you won't get it. Its so stuffed with characters that truly don't matter to the plot of the film and scenes that don't matter to the plot. Which leads to a too-long film with only about 10 minutes of fun.
This one is close to being a fun time but it just is too damn long with too much dull dialogue and terrible jokes to make it truly fun. The stars of the show are the actual Village People but it's too muddled up with character development and backstories of Jack (Guttenberg), Samantha (Valerie Perrine), and Ron (Jenner). It is required viewing for bad movie fans but don't expect a good time.
Individual Ratings:
Over the top action:Cheesy effects:Horrendous acting:Laugh-out-loud-ability:Ridiculous stunts:Gratuitous nudity:Memorable one-liners:
Overall Ratings:
Good Movie Quality: Bad Movie Quality:

Prelude to Can't Stop the Music

Presented by Behind the Music: The Village People. In this in depth look, we learn about the Village People's little known 7th member, the Homophobe.
Jackie chooses yet another movie with crazy costumes and singin' and dancin'. But will the very first Razzie winner scare her away from making the same mistakes as A Star is Born and Xanadu? Or will a bunch of gay men that can actually sing and dance win over Sam's fear of disco? Check out Can't Stop the Music currently on Netflix and join in on the fun with us.
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Dracula's Widow - Netflix
G-Men from Hell - Netflix
Pet Sematary - Netflix
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor
Scooby Doo
Mickey Mouse
Flash Gordon

Hard Ticket to Hawaii - Don't forget, there's a snake in this movie!

We go for a ride with Hard Ticket to Hawaii, directed by bad movie hall of fame director, Andy Sidaris. Expect guns, boobs, jokes, ridiculous action sequences, splosions, more boobs, tough guys and gals and don't forget there's a snake in this movie!
It's the first film in the Sidaris collection that features Donna and Taryn, two rad hot chicks who work for The Agency, the super secret government organization that fights crime, drugs, kidnappers and terrorists. This time to duo team up with Rowdy Abilene and a karate guy named Jade to take down a drug dealer in Hawaii. Along the way, they make sure to take their shirts off whenever they feel like it, free a giant mutated snake, face a skate-boarding assassin, and play some deadly Frisbee on the beach.
We love this film and highly recommend it. It's a must see. Make sure to listen to that and also be sure to visi tandysidaris.com and pick up a copy of the Girls, Guns and G-Strings collection (which includes Hard Ticket to Hawaii). Its one of the best DVD collections out there.
Individual Ratings:
Over the top action:Cheesy effects:Horrendous acting:Laugh-out-loud-ability:Ridiculous stunts:Gratuitous nudity:Memorable one-liners:
Overall Ratings:
Good Movie Quality: Bad Movie Quality:

Prelude to Hard Ticket to Hawaii

We open this episode with Justin applying for The Agency, the guns, girls and g-strings government group from the Andy Sidaris films.
We take up our second Andy Sidaris film with Hard Ticket to Hawaii. It's a fun film that we all love with busty ladies, fun jokes, crazy assasins, huge explosions and an evil snake. What more could you want?
We also end this episode with a fine interview between Sam and the film's producer, Arlene Sidaris. Make sure to listen to that and also be sure to visit andysidaris.com and pick up a copy of the Girls, Guns and G-Strings collection (which includes Hard Ticket to Hawaii). Its one of the best DVD collections out there. 12 movies for only $9.98?!?!
Streaming Do's and Don'ts
Best of the Best 3 - Netflix
Gunmen - Netflix
Tales from the Darkside: The Movie - Netflix
Good Neighbor, Bad Neighbor Malibu Express Edition
Coby Abilene
The Buffingtons
The Two Chicks from the Other Boat (Fay & May)