Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Blood Hook - Sinker Madness

When going fishing goes wrong, you can always blame cicadas. Actually, just blame cicadas for everything bad.
"Blood Hook," the 1986 cult classic, is a hidden gem that beautifully exemplifies the art of making the most of a shoestring budget. This film's charmingly absurd and delightful combination of elements makes it an absolute delight for fans of offbeat cinema.
First and foremost, the filmmakers behind "Blood Hook" deserve commendation for their remarkable efficiency in utilizing their limited resources. The low-budget nature of the film adds a unique charm, making it even more endearing to those who appreciate a well-crafted labor of love.
One of the standout aspects of "Blood Hook" is its immense riffing potential. This movie provides an abundance of opportunities for witty commentary, turning it into a riotous experience when watched with friends. The quirky characters, bizarre dialogue, and zany situations provide a never-ending source of laughter for all those who love a good riff.
The plot of "Blood Hook" is undeniably silly, but it's exactly what makes the movie so much fun. The story revolves around a fishing competition that takes an unexpected and, quite frankly, ridiculous turn when the fishermen find themselves battling a killer with a deadly fishing lure. This absurd premise is a testament to the filmmakers' willingness to take risks and their dedication to delivering a truly unique viewing experience.
While the ensemble cast is full of quirky characters, the protagonist, Peter, can't help but come across as a bit of a wet blanket. However, his straight-laced nature serves as the perfect foil for the wacky world around him, adding an extra layer of humor to the film. Peter's reactions to the bizarre happenings are priceless, making him an unwitting source of amusement throughout the movie.
But perhaps the most ludicrous and memorable aspect of "Blood Hook" is the climax, where the characters engage in an epic battle using fishing rods and lures. It's a scene that has to be seen to be believed, and it perfectly encapsulates the film's absurdity and charm. The audaciousness of this showdown is a testament to the filmmakers' willingness to go all out and embrace the inherent silliness of their creation.
In conclusion, "Blood Hook" is a charmingly quirky and riotously fun cinematic experience. Its low-budget charm, riffing potential, silly plot, and the unintentional humor of its protagonist make it a must-watch for fans of cult cinema. And let's not forget the unforgettable climax - a truly ludicrous spectacle that will leave you in stitches. Embrace the weirdness and dive into the wonderfully bizarre world of "Blood Hook." You won't regret it!

Curse 3: Blood Sacrifice - You’re not Pangaing your way out of this one

First off, the plot of "Curse 3" is a rollercoaster of confusion and absurdity. It's a story that oscillates between moments of genuine intrigue and sheer head-scratching disbelief. You'll find yourself constantly asking, "Did that really just happen?" The film's unpredictability keeps you on the edge of your seat, eagerly anticipating the next ludicrous twist.
The characters in "Curse 3" are unforgettable, not because of their depth or complexity, but because of their sheer audacity. From the Christopher Lee's ridiculously dubious doctoring to the over-the-top witch doctor, every performance in this film is a treasure trove of unintentional comedy.
Now, I have to mention that "Curse 3" does have its flaws. It can be a bit draggy in parts, with scenes that seem to go on forever without much purpose. However, these slow moments give you ample time to catch your breath between fits of laughter, so I can't complain too much.
The special effects and makeup in "Curse 3" deserve special mention. They're so gloriously cheesy and outdated that they add a layer of charm to the film. Whether it's the hilariously fake blood or the rubbery monsters, the practical effects in "Curse 3" are a testament to a bygone era of filmmaking.
"Curse 3" (aka "Panga") is a do for connoisseurs of unintentionally cheesy goodness. It's a film that will leave you questioning the choices of the filmmakers while simultaneously appreciating the sheer audacity of their creation. So grab some popcorn, invite your friends over, and prepare for a wild, wild ride into the world of "Curse 3." Double feature this with Curse 2: The Bite and you've got a great bad movie Sunday!

Vamps - Undead dating can be such a bummer

It's more Clueless than Blade but it sure ain't The Lost Boys. I still believe, though.
"Vamps," the 2012 movie starring Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter, offers a refreshing and somewhat quirky take on the vampire genre. While it may not be everyone's cup of tea (including 1/3 of Stinker Madness), it certainly has its charm, thanks to its unique spin on vampires trying to navigate the complexities of human life while grappling with their immortality.
One of the most intriguing aspects of "Vamps" is its exploration of vampires living among humans. The film delves into the challenges these immortal creatures face as they strive to maintain their humanity, all while looking eternally youthful. It's a clever and thought-provoking twist on the typical vampire lore, and it adds depth to the characters' struggles and dilemmas.
Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter deliver charismatic performances that inject humor and relatability into their vampire characters. Their chemistry on screen makes the movie engaging and enjoyable to watch. Their characters are trying to find the balance between dating, maintaining friendships, and having fun while being eternally 21, which adds a humorous and relatable dimension to the story.
However, it's important to note that "Vamps" does have its flaws. The visual effects, even for a 2012 film, leave much to be desired. Some of the special effects may come across as cheesy and dated, which can be distracting at times. Additionally, the film's offbeat humor and unique premise may not resonate with everyone, as it diverges from the traditional vampire narrative.
If you're a fan of unconventional vampire stories and don't mind some dated visuals, "Vamps" might be worth a watch for its fresh perspective on the genre. Its worth your time if you like "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", "Romy and Michelle" or obviously "Clueless".

Repo Jake - Gonna repo that prophylactic

Repo Jake is more like Limpy Tube Steak! Sorry to all who also have limpy tube steaks.
This 1990 cinematic gem starring Dan Haggerty, best known for his lovable role as Grizzly Adams, takes you on a rollercoaster of hilariously bad movie goodness that you won't soon forget. It's a prime example of the "so bad it's good" category that will have you laughing, cringing, and scratching your head all at the same time.
First off, let's talk about Dan Haggerty. Seeing him trade in his rugged mountain man persona for a tough-talking repo man is a treat in itself. The sheer absurdity of the casting alone is worth the price of admission. But, somehow, Haggerty manages to deliver his lines with such a straight face, or straight beard,  that you can't help but admire his dedication to the role, no matter how misguided it may seem.
The plot? Well, it's a mess. "Repo Jake" follows our titular hero as he embarks on a wild adventure involving "repossessing" cars, an evil drug lord, and a demolition derby that he's a unplanned entrant into. 
And let's not forget the supporting cast, which is a mix of overacting, underacting, and just plain bizarre performances. The villain, Lincoln King, is a character you will soon forget, if because he's got no business in the movie to begin with.
The dialogue is another highlight. It's so stilted and cringe-worthy that you'll be quoting lines to your friends for weeks. From cheesy one-liners to unintentionally hilarious exchanges, "Repo Jake" is a treasure trove of so-bad-it's-good dialogue that you'll want to revisit again and again.
And let's not forget the action sequences, which are a glorious mess of poorly choreographed fights and car chases that defy the laws of physics. You'll find yourself both wincing at the lack of realism and applauding the audacity of it all. Yet there is a surprisingly level of expensive stunts (clearly pulled off without permits) for such budget fair.
In conclusion, "Repo Jake" is a great time of unintentional comedy. It's a movie that defies logic, reason, and good taste, yet somehow manages to entertain from start to finish. If you're a fan of B-movies that make you question the choices of everyone involved, then "Repo Jake" is a must-watch. Grab some popcorn, gather your friends, and prepare for a wild ride through the absurdity that is "Repo Jake." It's so bad, it's absolutely fantastic!

Sword of the Valiant - Yeah, but why though?

Sean Connery puts on some Studio 54 costume, Ator rides around and Linnet gets captured but she's a bird so its ok.
"The Sword of the Valiant" is a 1984 movie that attempted to adapt the timeless Arthurian legend into a cinematic experience. Unfortunately, this adaptation falls far short of capturing the magic and wonder of the source material. Here's why this film left me thoroughly disappointed:
Lackluster Storytelling: The film's plot is a disjointed mess that fails to engage the audience. It veers away from the rich and intricate narrative of the Arthurian legend, opting for a dull and simplified version. The story lacks depth, character development, and emotional resonance, making it difficult to invest in the fates of the characters.
Mediocre Acting: The cast, led by Miles O'Keeffe as Sir Gawain and Sean Connery as the Green Knight, delivers performances that are uninspired at best. O'Keeffe's Gawain comes across as wooden and unconvincing, while Connery's talents are utterly wasted on a character that feels one-dimensional. The chemistry between the actors is virtually non-existent, making it difficult to connect with their plights.
Poor Production Values: The Sword of the Valiant's production values leave much to be desired. The special effects are laughably outdated, even by 1984 standards, making the fantastical elements of the story seem cheesy and unconvincing. The costume and set design are equally lackluster, failing to transport viewers to the enchanting world of King Arthur's court.
Straying from the Source Material: While creative adaptations can breathe new life into classic tales, "The Sword of the Valiant" takes too many liberties with the original legend. It abandons key elements of the Arthurian mythos in favor of a disjointed and uninspired narrative that feels more like a generic fantasy film than a faithful retelling.
Missed Opportunity: The Arthurian legend is a treasure trove of rich characters, moral dilemmas, and epic battles. "The Sword of the Valiant" squanders this potential by delivering a forgettable and lackluster film that fails to capture the essence of the legend's enduring appeal.
"The Sword of the Valiant" is a lackluster and forgettable adaptation of the Arthurian legend. Its uninspired storytelling, mediocre acting, and poor production values make it a disappointing experience for fans of this timeless tale. There are far better adaptations of the Arthurian legend out there, and I would recommend seeking them out instead of wasting your time on this lackluster film.

High Spirits - Gave us mild nausea

Mahoney and Mrs. Griswold fall in love with dead people who go out of their way to get them killed, while trying to save a castle from being foreclosed upon. Guess that's a thing...
"High Spirits" (1988) is a film that promised so much with its intriguing premise but ultimately delivered so little. This supposed comedy is nothing more than a dull and groan-inducing exercise in wasted potential.
First and foremost, the execution of the concept is painfully inept. The idea of a haunted Irish castle that attracts tourists looking for supernatural experiences had so much potential for humor, but the film squanders it at every turn. The gags fall flat, and the humor is forced and uninspired. Instead of clever and witty comedy, we're subjected to cheap, predictable laughs that leave us cringing rather than chuckling.
One might think that with such a great cast, "High Spirits" could manage to salvage something from the wreckage. Unfortunately, even the talented ensemble of actors can't save this sinking ship. Steve Guttenberg, Daryl Hannah, Peter O'Toole, and Liam Neeson all do their best with the material they're given, but they are let down by a script that lacks depth and originality. It's painful to watch such talented actors struggle to make something out of nothing.
To add insult to injury, "High Spirits" clearly draws inspiration from classic comedies like "Clue," but it fails miserably to capture the same magic. While "Clue" is a brilliant blend of sharp wit and slapstick humor, "High Spirits" comes across as a pale imitation, lacking the clever writing and memorable characters that made "Clue" a beloved classic.
In the end, "High Spirits" is a forgettable and disappointing comedy that had all the ingredients for success but managed to squander them completely. It's a film that leaves you wondering how such a promising concept could go so horribly wrong. Save yourself the disappointment and skip this one in favor of a comedy that actually delivers on its potential.

Gas Pump Girls - Better go to college, kids

Who knew that watching people gas up their cars could be such a bland experience?
"Gas Pump Girls" (1979) is a film that perfectly encapsulates the epitome of mindless cinema. From its ridiculous plot to its gratuitous nudity, this movie is a prime example of how a potentially entertaining concept can be utterly wasted in practice.
Let's start with the plot, or rather the lack thereof. "Gas Pump Girls" attempts to follow the misadventures of a group of scantily clad, gas station attendants as they try to save their friend's Uncle's workplace from being bankrupt after he suffers a heart attack. Think "save the youth center from being demolished". It's an inane and convoluted premise that feels like it was concocted during a late-night brainstorming session fueled by too much cheap beer. The story is a paper-thin excuse to string together a series of absurd and disconnected scenes, leaving viewers wondering if there was any point to the movie at all.
One might argue that the film's saving grace is its promise of nudity, which it does indeed deliver on. However, even in this aspect, "Gas Pump Girls" manages to disappoint. The nudity is not only gratuitous but also entirely unentertaining and relegated to mostly just one actress who hated doing it. It feels tacked on, as if the filmmakers were desperately trying to distract the audience from the lack of substance in the plot. Instead of titillation, it comes across as juvenile and cringe-inducing.
The characters in this film are shallow and one-dimensional, with no depth or development to speak of. They are little more than walking stereotypes, and their actions make little sense in the context of the story. It's difficult to care about any of them, and their attempts at humor fall flat, resulting in a film that's not only dull but also devoid of any genuine emotional engagement.
The pacing of "Gas Pump Girls" is painfully slow, with long stretches of aimless meandering and uninspired dialogue. It's astonishing how a film with such a flimsy plot can feel so lethargic and unengaging. The attempts at humor are forced and repetitive, relying on tired gags that fail to elicit even a chuckle.
"Gas Pump Girls" is a cinematic train-wreck that squanders its potential for entertainment. It's a film that is both dumb and boring, with a plot that is virtually non-existent and nudity that adds nothing to the viewing experience. If you're looking for a memorable film from the late '70s, there are countless other options that are far more deserving of your time and attention.

Extraterrestrial Visitors - The Trumpyiest Show, but in a good way

Trumpy finally hits the show and the dirt at the same time. Rick says, "It stinks!" Who asked you, Rick?
Buckle up, space cadets, because "Extraterrestrial Visitors" (or should I say "Pod People") is a journey to the outer reaches of hilarity and absurdity that you won't soon forget! This gem of a film from 1980 takes you on a rollercoaster ride through a galaxy of Trumpy superpowers, dialogue that's more out of this world than the aliens themselves, and a plot that's so poorly thought out, you'll wonder if they were abducted by confusion.
Let's start with the MVP of the movie: Trumpy, the otherworldly being with powers so astonishingly baffling that even the laws of physics scratch their heads. Forget about your typical superhero abilities – flight, super strength, and invisibility – Trumpy can do it all and more. From making toys levitate to turning plants into miniature disco balls (who knew flora loved to boogie?), Trumpy's talents defy explanation almost as much as the plot itself.
And speaking of the plot, it's like they took all the leftover pieces from a dozen different jigsaw puzzles and decided to make a mosaic masterpiece. You've got aliens, a young kid who finds a space egg, a rock band (because why not?), and a bumbling duo of poachers who specialize in pilfering nightingale eggs. Dastardly! The plot twists are so unexpected, they'll make your head spin faster than Trumpy juggling intergalactic fruit.
Now, let's talk dialogue. Imagine if Shakespeare, Dr. Seuss, and your quirky uncle who only speaks in puns had a brainstorming session while on a sugar rush – that's the level of dialogue you can expect. With lines like "To ME, it's a CENTIPEDE. It'll ALWAYS be called A CENTIPEDE!" and the forever classic "It stinks!" you'll be rolling on the floor in fits of laughter faster than you can say "extraterrestrial hijinks."
But let's not forget the true star of the show: the production values. Special effects that look like they were crafted with leftover tinfoil and glitter glue? Check. Sets that seem to have been assembled from the clearance section of a discount space-themed party store? Check. And costumes that make you wonder if the aliens accidentally wandered into a garbage can before landing on Earth? You betcha.
In the end, "Extraterrestrial Visitors" (aka "Pod People") is a masterpiece of unintentional comedy that leaves you with a smile wider than the Milky Way. It's a cosmic collision of bad decisions, wonky writing, and inexplicable choices that somehow come together to create a cinematic experience that's out of this world in all the wrong ways – and that's what makes it so incredibly right. So grab your popcorn, suspend your disbelief, and prepare to be abducted by laughter as you venture into the hilariously bizarre universe of "Extraterrestrial Visitors." It's an alien encounter you won't want to miss!

The Rookie - Its a Buttendectomy

Eastwood and Sheen team-up to accomplish....nothing really. Its maybe the worst written movie we've done and that includes M. Knight Shamalamadingdong stuff.
Let's start with the positives, shall we? The stunts in this movie are so over-the-top, I suspect the entire budget went into explosions and car chases. It's like they set a new record for the most pyrotechnics used in a single film! If you're in the mood for gratuitous action that defies all laws of physics, "The Rookie" delivers like a pizza on a Friday night.
But now, let's talk about the dialogue. Oh boy, where do I begin? It's almost as if the screenwriters threw darts at a board filled with clichés and put them all in one script. The characters spout one-liners that even your dad would cringe at. And speaking of dad jokes, Clint Eastwood seems to be on autopilot, delivering lines with the enthusiasm of someone who's run out of coffee in the morning.
Charlie Sheen's character, on the other hand, appears to be suffering from a severe case of split personality disorder. One moment, he's a charming rookie cop trying to prove himself, and the next, he's channeling his inner James Bond with terrible pick-up lines that make you wish you could hit the "mute" button on reality.
Now, let's address the plot—or should I say lack thereof? The story revolves around Clint Eastwood's character being a grizzled, soon-to-retire cop who takes on the role of mentor to Charlie Sheen's greenhorn. But, folks, brace yourselves for the plot twist: the mentor becomes the student, and the student becomes the hero. Groundbreaking, right? It's like someone took a clichéd cop movie template and decided to play "mad libs" with it, inserting random action sequences wherever they could fit.
At some point, you have to wonder if director, Clint Eastwood, thought the audience would be so distracted by the explosions that we wouldn't notice the plot holes big enough to drive a tank through. And don't even get me started on the female characters—they seem to exist solely to fawn over the male leads, reminding us that the '90s weren't exactly a pinnacle of gender representation.
In conclusion, "The Rookie" is a perfect case study in how not to make an action movie. If you're in the mood for some mindless entertainment, or you want to host a movie night with friends where you play a drinking game for every cringeworthy line, this might be the perfect pick. Otherwise, you're better off enjoying some classic Clint Eastwood in his better films and letting "The Rookie" remain a relic of the '90s, forever trapped in its own time warp of bad dialogue and nonsensical plots.

The Tomb - The Mummy moves to LA for its high quality blood?

Michelle Bauer stalks around LA in slinky outfits on a quest....for blood! Words, don't fail me now.
One of the highlights of "The Tomb" is its nostalgic charm. The film exudes the distinct '80s vibe, complete with cheesy practical effects, low-budget sets, and a synthesizer-heavy soundtrack with corny beats and crummy lyrics that is very Fred Olen Ray. 
The "plot" follows a group of "amateur gynocologists" who venture into an ancient tomb in search of hidden treasures. There, they unlock the tomb of "Nefratis" (played by the always great Michelle Bauer), an ancient mummy vampire who needs blood to stay looking like Michelle Bauer...so, hot. She is kind of thwarted by Dave (Richard Hench) and John Banning (David O'Hara) but really only because she kidnaps Dave's newfound girlfriend, Helen (Suzy Stokey). We're still not sure why she needed to kidnap her for a ritual because she doesn't need to perform rituals to stay hot, she just needs blood. Maybe pretty lady blood will make her even more hot? But come on, lady. You're Michelle Bauer. Save some good looking for the rest of us, greedy guts.
Fred Olen Ray demonstrates his passion for practical effects, and it shows in some of the creative and gory scenes. The film's modest budget may be apparent in places, but the dedication to practical effects adds a certain charm that modern CGI-laden horror films often lack.
However, "The Tomb" is not without its flaws. The pacing can be a bit uneven, with some scenes dragging on while others rush past crucial moments. Additionally, the character development is rather weak, leaving the audience with little attachment to the protagonists, making it challenging to feel invested in their fates.
"The Tomb" is, at times, a fun visit to '80s horror cinema, brimming with nostalgic elements that will please genre enthusiasts and Fred Olen Ray cultists (myself being one of them). However, despite some of his best efforts (the opening credit sequence and his efforts on the practical effects), there's just not enough meat here in the middle of the film. Yes, he manages to keep a little momentum by sprinkling in some knockers during those exposition heavy sections but he could have and has done better with many, many, many of his other films.