Stinker Madness - The Podcast for Bad Movie Lovers

Elf-Man - Better than socks, I guess

An elf gets ditched by his horrible boss, Santa, and is forced to fend for his life because some bratty girl doesn't appreciate the life her father has built for her as a single dad. Oh and Jeffrey Combs!
"Elf-Man," a 2012 holiday film, falls into the category of hokey family Christmas movies that attempt to capture the true spirit of the season but ultimately miss the mark. While it's not as bad as one might initially fear, it still leaves much to be desired.
The film follows the escapades of an elf who teams up with a young girl to save Christmas from bad guys, a premise that has been explored countless times in various forms. Unfortunately, "Elf-Man" fails to bring anything fresh or innovative to the table. The storyline feels formulaic, and the attempts at humor often fall flat, relying heavily on clichés and predictable gags.
The film's portrayal of the true spirit of Christmas feels forced and contrived. Instead of delivering a heartwarming message that resonates, "Elf-Man" opts for sentimental clichés, missing an opportunity to explore the deeper, more meaningful aspects of the holiday season. The character development is shallow, and the emotional moments lack the authenticity needed to truly connect with the audience.
Despite these shortcomings, it's important to note that "Elf-Man" isn't an outright disaster. The production values are decent, and the cast does its best with the material provided. For those seeking a mindless, lighthearted Christmas movie to entertain the family, it might serve its purpose. However, for those looking for a film that captures the true essence of Christmas with substance and originality, "Elf-Man" might leave them feeling a bit underwhelmed.

Highlander - Listen first before sending death threats

Just because we think its nonsense doesn't mean we AND you can't like it, but seriously....
Highlander, the 1986 fantasy film directed by Russell Mulcahy, is a cinematic rollercoaster that manages to be entertaining despite its numerous flaws. To put it bluntly, it's not a good movie in terms of traditional filmmaking standards, but there's an undeniable charm and fun factor that makes it enjoyable for those who appreciate its chaotic nature.
One of the major issues with Highlander is its convoluted plot. The film tries to blend elements of fantasy, science fiction, and historical drama, creating a narrative that feels like it's trying to do too much at once. The result is a confusing and overly complex storyline that often leaves viewers scratching their heads. Immortal warriors battling through the centuries could have been a compelling premise, but Highlander takes it to such extremes that it becomes a total mess.
The acting in Highlander is nothing short of over-the-top, with Christopher Lambert's portrayal of the immortal Scotsman Connor MacLeod bordering on campy. While Lambert's performance may not be a masterclass in subtlety, it adds a certain charm to the film. Similarly, Clancy Brown as the villainous Kurgan hams it up with relish, delivering lines with a theatricality that is both cringe-worthy and oddly captivating.
The special effects in Highlander are undeniably cheesy, even by 1980s standards. The low-budget visuals, combined with questionable choreography in the fight scenes, result in moments that are more likely to induce laughter than awe. However, these flaws contribute to the film's unique appeal. There's a certain nostalgia attached to the practical effects and dated visuals that endear Highlander to a specific audience willing to overlook its technical shortcomings.
In the end, Highlander is a guilty pleasure. It's a film that you can love for its quirks and enjoy for its unintentional humor, all while acknowledging its lack of cinematic finesse. The messy plot, over-the-top acting, and cheesy effects somehow come together to create a cinematic experience that, while far from being a quality film, manages to be a memorable and entertaining ride for those who appreciate its peculiarities. Highlander is a case where the sum of its parts somehow adds up to an oddly enjoyable whole.

Dirty O’Neil - It’s not his police work that’s dirty - it’s his d---

Officer Jimmy O'Neil avoids the hard life of hard-boiled cops by taking it easy and just banging ladies, until justice needs some sweet, sweet loving too.
"Dirty O'Neil," released in 1974, is a film that takes you on a wild journey through the low crime streets of suburban Los Angeles. While the movie has its merits, it certainly has its drawbacks, too.
Let's start with the positive aspects. The film avoids capturing the essence of the '70s cop movie, instead choosing to spend most of its time with a goofball musical score and small vignettes of casual sex adventures. The setting and atmosphere are inauthentic, immersing viewers in the smutty life of its protagonist, Jimmy O'Neil.
Speaking of Jimmy O'Neil, the character portrayal by the lead actor is commendable. O'Neil is a charismatic and enigmatic figure, navigating the dangerous landscape of the mundane streets littered with hot babes with a certain flair.
However, the movie's major flaw lies in its plot, or rather the lack thereof for a significant portion of its runtime. Approximately 70% of the film seems to meander without a clear direction, leaving viewers somewhat lost in tedium. It's as if the screenplay got lost in the haze of the '70s counterculture, resulting in a narrative that struggles to find its footing.
Another aspect that leads to this plot absence is the abundance of gratuitous nudity throughout the film. While the '70s were known for pushing boundaries, "Dirty O'Neil" takes it to a level that is an amazing achievement for the time. Yet, the constant presence of nudity can overshadow the potential for a more substantial storyline and character development.
Perhaps one of the most peculiar aspects is the remarkably high female body count attributed to the protagonist, Jimmy O'Neil. Clocking in at a staggering 11, it surpasses even the legendary James Bond's exploits. While this may add an element of intrigue to the character, it borders on the absurd and raises questions about the film's underlying message.
"Dirty O'Neil" is a mixed bag of '70s charm, flawed storytelling, and gratuitous elements. If you're in the mood for a wild ride through the unconventional, this film might just scratch that itch. However, be prepared for a meandering plot with an abundance of nudity that could enhance or distract from the overall viewing experience.

Bloodfist III - Forced to Watch

Don "The Dragon" Wilson is not the same guy as the first two or the last five movies. This time he's in prison and......oh sorry fell asleep.
If you're searching for a thrilling martial arts experience, "Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight" ain't it. This lackluster sequel not only fails to capture the essence of its predecessors but falls flat on every front, from its uninspiring plot to its lackadaisical fight choreography.
The storyline, if it can be called that, is a haphazard collection of tired tropes and predictable turns. Don "The Dragon" Wilson stars as the protagonist, but even his competent martial arts skills can't salvage the train wreck that is the script. The narrative lacks depth, originality, or any semblance of intrigue. It feels like a mishmash of recycled ideas from countless B-grade action films, making it painfully clear that creativity took a back seat during the writing process.
The action sequences, touted as the film's main attraction, are a major letdown. The stunt work and fight choreography are downright boring and lack the finesse expected from a martial arts movie. The punches and kicks lack impact, and the overall flow of the action feels disjointed and uninspired. What should be the film's saving grace turns out to be its Achilles' heel, leaving the audience yearning for more engaging and dynamic fight scenes.
Even Don "The Dragon" Wilson, a martial arts veteran with a commendable track record, fails to elevate the film. While he showcases his undeniable skills in various fight scenes, his charisma as a lead actor is sorely lacking. Wilson's performance feels wooden and uninspired, leaving the audience indifferent to the fate of his character. It's disappointing to see a competent martial artist reduced to a lackluster leading role that does nothing to showcase his true potential.
In conclusion, "Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight" is a forgettable installment in the martial arts film genre. With a bland plot, uninteresting stunt work, and a lackluster lead performance, it fails to leave any lasting impression. Save your time and seek out more captivating martial arts movies that actually deliver on the promise of excitement and entertainment.

Rockula - Maybe don’t turn into a bat, Ralphie

Dean Cameron is a vampire who doesn't bite people but has to relive the death of his beloved Moana who is killed every 22 years by a pirate wielding a ham-bone. But not this year, buster!
"Rockula" is an absolute blast from the past that's so bad, it's fantastic! This 1990 gem takes the term 'cult classic' to a whole new level. Let's start with the music – it's so gloriously terrible that it somehow becomes insanely catchy. The tunes are like a guilty pleasure you can't help but hum along to, despite their wonderfully cheesy lyrics and over-the-top '80s vibe.
The music videos? Oh boy, they're a whole different spectacle! They're wonderfully goofy, with a delightful mix of tacky special effects and absurd dance sequences that are impossible not to love. They're so hilariously bad that they loop back around to being enjoyable.
Now, let's talk Tawny Fere – she's undeniably smoking hot, but her singing? Bless her heart, she can't carry a tune for the afterlife. Yet, that's part of the movie's charm! Her lack of singing prowess somehow adds to the whole 'so bad it's good' allure. It's like watching a car crash in slow motion – you can't look away, and somehow you're smiling the whole time.
And the vampire bat! Goodness gracious, it's like a Halloween decoration come to life. The sheer goofiness of the vampire bat is just another reason to love this film. It's so hilariously unconvincing that it's endearing. You can't help but chuckle every time it makes an appearance.
"Rockula" is the kind of movie you watch with friends, armed with popcorn and ready to laugh at its glorious absurdity. It's a delightful time capsule of the '80s that's so wonderfully terrible, it transcends badness and becomes a delightful experience. If you're up for a dose of pure, unadulterated fun, "Rockula" is an absolute must-watch!

Blood Hook - Sinker Madness

When going fishing goes wrong, you can always blame cicadas. Actually, just blame cicadas for everything bad.
"Blood Hook," the 1986 cult classic, is a hidden gem that beautifully exemplifies the art of making the most of a shoestring budget. This film's charmingly absurd and delightful combination of elements makes it an absolute delight for fans of offbeat cinema.
First and foremost, the filmmakers behind "Blood Hook" deserve commendation for their remarkable efficiency in utilizing their limited resources. The low-budget nature of the film adds a unique charm, making it even more endearing to those who appreciate a well-crafted labor of love.
One of the standout aspects of "Blood Hook" is its immense riffing potential. This movie provides an abundance of opportunities for witty commentary, turning it into a riotous experience when watched with friends. The quirky characters, bizarre dialogue, and zany situations provide a never-ending source of laughter for all those who love a good riff.
The plot of "Blood Hook" is undeniably silly, but it's exactly what makes the movie so much fun. The story revolves around a fishing competition that takes an unexpected and, quite frankly, ridiculous turn when the fishermen find themselves battling a killer with a deadly fishing lure. This absurd premise is a testament to the filmmakers' willingness to take risks and their dedication to delivering a truly unique viewing experience.
While the ensemble cast is full of quirky characters, the protagonist, Peter, can't help but come across as a bit of a wet blanket. However, his straight-laced nature serves as the perfect foil for the wacky world around him, adding an extra layer of humor to the film. Peter's reactions to the bizarre happenings are priceless, making him an unwitting source of amusement throughout the movie.
But perhaps the most ludicrous and memorable aspect of "Blood Hook" is the climax, where the characters engage in an epic battle using fishing rods and lures. It's a scene that has to be seen to be believed, and it perfectly encapsulates the film's absurdity and charm. The audaciousness of this showdown is a testament to the filmmakers' willingness to go all out and embrace the inherent silliness of their creation.
In conclusion, "Blood Hook" is a charmingly quirky and riotously fun cinematic experience. Its low-budget charm, riffing potential, silly plot, and the unintentional humor of its protagonist make it a must-watch for fans of cult cinema. And let's not forget the unforgettable climax - a truly ludicrous spectacle that will leave you in stitches. Embrace the weirdness and dive into the wonderfully bizarre world of "Blood Hook." You won't regret it!

Curse 3: Blood Sacrifice - You’re not Pangaing your way out of this one

First off, the plot of "Curse 3" is a rollercoaster of confusion and absurdity. It's a story that oscillates between moments of genuine intrigue and sheer head-scratching disbelief. You'll find yourself constantly asking, "Did that really just happen?" The film's unpredictability keeps you on the edge of your seat, eagerly anticipating the next ludicrous twist.
The characters in "Curse 3" are unforgettable, not because of their depth or complexity, but because of their sheer audacity. From the Christopher Lee's ridiculously dubious doctoring to the over-the-top witch doctor, every performance in this film is a treasure trove of unintentional comedy.
Now, I have to mention that "Curse 3" does have its flaws. It can be a bit draggy in parts, with scenes that seem to go on forever without much purpose. However, these slow moments give you ample time to catch your breath between fits of laughter, so I can't complain too much.
The special effects and makeup in "Curse 3" deserve special mention. They're so gloriously cheesy and outdated that they add a layer of charm to the film. Whether it's the hilariously fake blood or the rubbery monsters, the practical effects in "Curse 3" are a testament to a bygone era of filmmaking.
"Curse 3" (aka "Panga") is a do for connoisseurs of unintentionally cheesy goodness. It's a film that will leave you questioning the choices of the filmmakers while simultaneously appreciating the sheer audacity of their creation. So grab some popcorn, invite your friends over, and prepare for a wild, wild ride into the world of "Curse 3." Double feature this with Curse 2: The Bite and you've got a great bad movie Sunday!

Vamps - Undead dating can be such a bummer

It's more Clueless than Blade but it sure ain't The Lost Boys. I still believe, though.
"Vamps," the 2012 movie starring Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter, offers a refreshing and somewhat quirky take on the vampire genre. While it may not be everyone's cup of tea (including 1/3 of Stinker Madness), it certainly has its charm, thanks to its unique spin on vampires trying to navigate the complexities of human life while grappling with their immortality.
One of the most intriguing aspects of "Vamps" is its exploration of vampires living among humans. The film delves into the challenges these immortal creatures face as they strive to maintain their humanity, all while looking eternally youthful. It's a clever and thought-provoking twist on the typical vampire lore, and it adds depth to the characters' struggles and dilemmas.
Alicia Silverstone and Krysten Ritter deliver charismatic performances that inject humor and relatability into their vampire characters. Their chemistry on screen makes the movie engaging and enjoyable to watch. Their characters are trying to find the balance between dating, maintaining friendships, and having fun while being eternally 21, which adds a humorous and relatable dimension to the story.
However, it's important to note that "Vamps" does have its flaws. The visual effects, even for a 2012 film, leave much to be desired. Some of the special effects may come across as cheesy and dated, which can be distracting at times. Additionally, the film's offbeat humor and unique premise may not resonate with everyone, as it diverges from the traditional vampire narrative.
If you're a fan of unconventional vampire stories and don't mind some dated visuals, "Vamps" might be worth a watch for its fresh perspective on the genre. Its worth your time if you like "Girls Just Want to Have Fun", "Romy and Michelle" or obviously "Clueless".

Repo Jake - Gonna repo that prophylactic

Repo Jake is more like Limpy Tube Steak! Sorry to all who also have limpy tube steaks.
This 1990 cinematic gem starring Dan Haggerty, best known for his lovable role as Grizzly Adams, takes you on a rollercoaster of hilariously bad movie goodness that you won't soon forget. It's a prime example of the "so bad it's good" category that will have you laughing, cringing, and scratching your head all at the same time.
First off, let's talk about Dan Haggerty. Seeing him trade in his rugged mountain man persona for a tough-talking repo man is a treat in itself. The sheer absurdity of the casting alone is worth the price of admission. But, somehow, Haggerty manages to deliver his lines with such a straight face, or straight beard,  that you can't help but admire his dedication to the role, no matter how misguided it may seem.
The plot? Well, it's a mess. "Repo Jake" follows our titular hero as he embarks on a wild adventure involving "repossessing" cars, an evil drug lord, and a demolition derby that he's a unplanned entrant into. 
And let's not forget the supporting cast, which is a mix of overacting, underacting, and just plain bizarre performances. The villain, Lincoln King, is a character you will soon forget, if because he's got no business in the movie to begin with.
The dialogue is another highlight. It's so stilted and cringe-worthy that you'll be quoting lines to your friends for weeks. From cheesy one-liners to unintentionally hilarious exchanges, "Repo Jake" is a treasure trove of so-bad-it's-good dialogue that you'll want to revisit again and again.
And let's not forget the action sequences, which are a glorious mess of poorly choreographed fights and car chases that defy the laws of physics. You'll find yourself both wincing at the lack of realism and applauding the audacity of it all. Yet there is a surprisingly level of expensive stunts (clearly pulled off without permits) for such budget fair.
In conclusion, "Repo Jake" is a great time of unintentional comedy. It's a movie that defies logic, reason, and good taste, yet somehow manages to entertain from start to finish. If you're a fan of B-movies that make you question the choices of everyone involved, then "Repo Jake" is a must-watch. Grab some popcorn, gather your friends, and prepare for a wild ride through the absurdity that is "Repo Jake." It's so bad, it's absolutely fantastic!

Sword of the Valiant - Yeah, but why though?

Sean Connery puts on some Studio 54 costume, Ator rides around and Linnet gets captured but she's a bird so its ok.
"The Sword of the Valiant" is a 1984 movie that attempted to adapt the timeless Arthurian legend into a cinematic experience. Unfortunately, this adaptation falls far short of capturing the magic and wonder of the source material. Here's why this film left me thoroughly disappointed:
Lackluster Storytelling: The film's plot is a disjointed mess that fails to engage the audience. It veers away from the rich and intricate narrative of the Arthurian legend, opting for a dull and simplified version. The story lacks depth, character development, and emotional resonance, making it difficult to invest in the fates of the characters.
Mediocre Acting: The cast, led by Miles O'Keeffe as Sir Gawain and Sean Connery as the Green Knight, delivers performances that are uninspired at best. O'Keeffe's Gawain comes across as wooden and unconvincing, while Connery's talents are utterly wasted on a character that feels one-dimensional. The chemistry between the actors is virtually non-existent, making it difficult to connect with their plights.
Poor Production Values: The Sword of the Valiant's production values leave much to be desired. The special effects are laughably outdated, even by 1984 standards, making the fantastical elements of the story seem cheesy and unconvincing. The costume and set design are equally lackluster, failing to transport viewers to the enchanting world of King Arthur's court.
Straying from the Source Material: While creative adaptations can breathe new life into classic tales, "The Sword of the Valiant" takes too many liberties with the original legend. It abandons key elements of the Arthurian mythos in favor of a disjointed and uninspired narrative that feels more like a generic fantasy film than a faithful retelling.
Missed Opportunity: The Arthurian legend is a treasure trove of rich characters, moral dilemmas, and epic battles. "The Sword of the Valiant" squanders this potential by delivering a forgettable and lackluster film that fails to capture the essence of the legend's enduring appeal.
"The Sword of the Valiant" is a lackluster and forgettable adaptation of the Arthurian legend. Its uninspired storytelling, mediocre acting, and poor production values make it a disappointing experience for fans of this timeless tale. There are far better adaptations of the Arthurian legend out there, and I would recommend seeking them out instead of wasting your time on this lackluster film.